The only flower that seems to sprout from me are yellow carnations.
The hospital had someone figure out what they're meaning was, but it would've been better if I hadn't known.
Disappointment and rejection.
In a funny way, that's all I got after confessing to Amane. The school's spirit ghost who couldn't accept me even if he wanted to.
Not that he would if he could.
He was a little too blunt with his rejection, leaving me completely heartbroken with no chance of hope.
I cupped my masked cheek, holding on to the bag on my shoulder. My parents wouldn't let me skip school, even if I was on my deathbed. They tried to force the reason why I was chocking out flowers, but my distant relationship with them wouldn't even let me tell them.
This was a punishment for not telling them everything. School.
It wasn't as if I was expected to die any moment. I was at an early stage of hanahaki.
A few petals here and there, that could be sweep under the rug. Once the roots started forming inside me, my parents would force me into the surgery once and for all.
I had some kind of hope that before then, just maybe, Amane would realise that he loved me too and speak before it was too late.
But happy endings are just for preschoolers, isn't that right?
My classmates were quick to notice my new facial accessory. Oblivious kids would point it out, while the intelligent ones would pity me.
After classes, I'd have to rush to the bathroom so I could discard the flowers trapped under my mask. Unfortunately, the bathroom held someone who barely was ever happy to see me.
The slide door slid slowly before I could walk in. "(Y/n)?"
Ah... Goodness. It felt as if I was drinking water for the first time in weeks by seeing him. "Amane."
My voice came out muffled under the mask. I eagerly walked in, grinning up at the floating ghost. His eyes darted to the side, before doing a double take on me. "Wha- why are you wearing a mask? Are you sick?"
He uncomfortably placed a gap between us. I frowned, closing it a bit before untucking the mask and catching the yellow carnation petals with my hand.
"Unlucky, right?" I still managed to smile at the bewitching male. "Hanahaki?!" He screeched. His feet hit the ground with a thud before he scooped the petals to make sure they were real.
"That's... probably not sanitary, Amane." I warned before slightly chuckling at how cute his worry was. He didn't laugh with me.
He studied each bloody flower before giving in that they were real. Sooner or later he flushed the flowers into the toilet, and the door slid open again.
"Hanako-kun! Ah, (Y/n)-chan!" Yashiro, the girl with no self preservation, ran into the bathroom with Kou.
"Yashiro!" Hanako was quick to close the gap between all three of them. He looked so... happy. His hands went on Yashiro's shoulders as hee began to nuzzle on it to make Kou angry. They laughed together, livening up the sad bathroom.
I felt my heart twist painfully when I saw how he cradled Yashiro gently. She didn't even seem to realise how soft he was with her, when I would kill for him to be the same with me.
I felt a pit start to grow in my stomach, more and more with how their smiles grew. I felt my throat close up and start to attempt to clear itself.
As if in slow motion, I saw Yashiro turn her head towards me, about to involve me in the conversation. Amane didn't even seem to bat an eye. Why didn't he at least look at me? All I wanted was tiny hope that he would look at me with half the of love he had for Yashiro--
I darted into the stall and chocked out the cursed yellow carnations. It was harsh and didn't come out with a single cough like before. It took wheezing, and all of my breath. I weakly gasped for air. My hearing at paused for a moment while I turned t breathe.
The yellow carnations had buds. And... it looked as if another flower had started to grow in me. Hyacinth... also yellow.
Maybe yellow was tied to me now... that was sort of funny, right?
I felt my eyes start to blur when my breathing had barely came back to me. At this rate I would pass out. I leaned on the door behind me, unlocking it as quick as I could.
My sense of hearing returned when I heard the lock open with a click. The door that supported me opened, also making me collapse with it. Kou had the fast reflexes to catch me and hold me before I fell. Yashiro fell to the ground next to me.
I could barely hear her speak. "What's- **** (Y/n)-***! Hu- Hanaha-**" I nodded as if I understood, resting in Kou's nervous arms.
"It just got worse..." Amane was the only thing that sounded clear to me. My ears seem to strain for him.
I spat out the remaining buds in my mouth, feeling myself get picked up by Kou. "Spider ***** sensei!" I heard Kou yell, holding me as if I was his bride.
Why couldn't Amane be a bit like Kou? Though it wasn't the time to be pouty.
I barely remembered anything. I remember everyone running quickly. I remember holding on to Kou's shirt before passing out briefly. I remember waking up to the teacher calling the hospital to pick me me up, and then talk about how I had no chance unless I did the surgery, even some book if his.
I remember Yashiro hugging me and Kou glaring at Amane before hugging me too.
When I came too, I was in a real hospital. As a demand of my my parents, they forced the procedure on me. They didn't ask.
They made my parents sign some paper that says they wouldn't sue before plucking each flower out of me.
When I came too, the world became a little greyer. I couldn't very well pinpoint my feelings at all.
I didn't go back to that school. Not after the commotion I caused. I didn't even get to look at his face or say goodbye.
...not that I cared now.
Playing clumsily with the Yellow Carnation flowers, it was so small in my hands.
I hated it. So I squish it until the petals scattered apart and threw whatever was left on the floor.
Why was I even so obsessed with a ghost?
I'll never truly know, I guess.
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EDIT- I will not be continuing this anymore! Hope you enjoyed
