(Outside with a cup of tea)
What a fat moon.
I had pancakes today
I miss your pancakes
I can't make pancakes
Or pasta
Or anything
In fact I can't cook at all.
I can make tea
Tea always reminds me of you.
You, fragile little teapot you.
Green tea and honey 🍯
But rooibos was your favourite hey?
I like it too.
Just not so weak you know.
Yours always looked like earl grey, with milk.
Maybe that was it.
I could make tea so you didn't have to.
Only thing you let me do.
You.
I cried in the middle of a massage today because I was late.
The massager gave me an extra 15 minutes because I said I was sorry I was late.
Sorry.
That's all I can say?
Pathetic.
Crazy how some tea tastes without milk.
'Bonkers' you used to say.
It looks like a hole.
A bitter, black tea pit.
A tea pit.
Dark and lonely.
Ah, but it doesn't taste too bad.
Smells good too.
The day you -
The day you -
I think my heart broke.
It was like the end
And I had no say
And ever since I've been trying to say things to you but it never seems to be enough.
I'm angry
I'm sad
I'm hurt
I'm terrified
I'm a fucking island
Sinking and screaming under this ocean of tears and fear.
And every time I try and say something I -
I
I
I
I'm sorry.
It's all I've got.
Sorry
Sorry I failed you
Sorry I let you go
Sorry I never told you how much I love you.
Cheers to you.
(Raises teacup to the moon)
YOU ARE READING
Fat moon
PoetryA little piece of grief. I lost my best friend, my soul mate, my mom. I think we try to do things to make up for all the time we spend without the ones we love and lose. Drinking tea, going for massages. These are all ways and means to cope instead...
