recovery // a.i.

34 // worthless

ashton's point of view

Walking down the steps to the subway, I waved a quick goodbye to Michael and plugged in my headphones. I handed the lady my metro card and she let me down the stairs that led to the platform. I sat down in the hard yellow chairs and waited for my subway to arrive. As I went to go to Spotify, my heart nearly stopped.

I had a voicemail from the one and only Hayden.

I pressed play almost instantly and listened to her shaky words through my headphones. The voicemail actually worried me...a lot.

"Hey, Ash. Um...I stopped by this morning to talk to you but you were asleep. So, uh, can you call me when you wake up? It's really, really important. Thanks. Bye."

I opened a new text to Michael, asking if she really had stopped by. He said yes, which really pissed me off. Despite how much I didn't want to see her, I really did want to.

Immediately, but regrettably, I pressed the call back button and unplugged my headphones again. I left my seat and ran back up the stairs, letting the older woman know that I'd be back so I wouldn't have to give her my card again. I made it out onto the street, where I finally got good service. After five or six rings, I heard her voice again.

"Hi," she said, as if she had been expecting the call. Well, she had been.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked hurriedly as I paced under an awning and plugged my other ear so I could hear her better.

She sighed and I heard her footsteps walking around as she began to talk. "I've been waiting for your call all day," she forced a laugh.

"Hayden, are you crying? Why are you crying?"

"I...um, I just have a problem. I don't know how to deal with it, but I decided that I want you to know."

I held my hand on the back of my neck as I waited for her to say something else. "What is it?"

She hesitated for a few moments. "I'm moving. I thought you would want to know," she sniffled. I heard the familiar squeaks of her bed frame in the background.

It was a long time before I responded to her. "W-where are you going? How far away?"

"L.A.," she sighed, sniffling a few more times.

My breath hitched in my throat as I searched for somewhere to sit down. "Oh, my God. Wow. I...uh..." I stammered, sitting on a bench under a different awning. "Wow," I said one more time. "Why?"

"My dad got promoted and...and it's a once in a lifetime chance to live there," she sobbed. "I'm so, so sorry, Ashton."

"No, uh...don't be. I get it."

"Thank God, you are the only person that understood," Hayden mumbled. "Can you come over?"

Checking the time on my phone screen, I held the phone back up to my ear. "Yeah. I just missed my train, so I'll...uh...I'll be right there."

Soon after, she hung up and I caught a cab to take me across the bridge to her apartment building. The whole ride, anxiety took over me. The idea of her moving made me want to throw up in the back seat of the cab, but I just sat there and stared out the window the whole time. The man pulled up to Westmore after conquering bad traffic and I paid him before running up to the door. The doorman opened it for me, when I could've easily done it myself, and I hurried to an elevator. It felt like I couldn't have pushed the up button more times than I did.

When I made it to her floor, I rushed to her door and opened it without knocking. She was definitely in her bedroom, since I had heard it from the phone. "Hayden?" I spoke up as I walked quickly towards her door. Once again, I heard the squeaks of the bed frame as she came into view. We both stopped and she carefully look me up and down. We both looked sick and tired, too. We were both miserable.