jj maybank imagines

her

(based off the song watching you by robinson)

I heard that you've found someone
Always knew you'd find someone
Got the message, knew what it said
I can't forget

you and jj had always been much closer with each other compared to your relationships with the other pogues. you two seemed to know each other inside and out; guilty pleasures, darkest secrets, and wildest fantasies. you two trusted each other more than anything or anyone basically making each other human diaries. their was no denying the attraction between the two of you and when jj proposed the idea you hadn't even a second thought before you said yes. you knew it was a bad idea. you having unrequited love for the blue eye boy while he longed for someone else that he could have. a kook nonetheless. a brown haired green eyed tan skinned kook. and who could blame him she was gorgeous and always seemed to tempt and tease jj but always leaving him hanging and hollow inside. so when the boy told you his idea of actually asking her out for real you told him your doubts which he listened to and ignored. seemingly a relationship came between the two which many didn't support with the two constantly down each other throats always breaking up and rebounding together. so when you were waiting up on jj that saturday night to sneak through your window for you normal night time fun he was with her. you got the hint he wasn't coming when the clock rung midnight in your empty house and when your phone screen lit up with a text from the normal punctual boy.
jj🌊
she came back
would've texted
sooner but
got caught up
12:00 a.m.
                                            it's ok have fun ! 
                                                      12:01 a.m.
                                                               read

I don't sleep, tangled up in the memory
Of you and me, not you and her
But for what's it worth

you didn't sleep that night. you were normal accompanied by jj seeing as he was always too tired after and would end up holding you as he drifted off to sleep. but tonight you felt colder then normal despite the blankets bundled up on your bed. you missed his warmth and him running his fingers through your hair as you could trace shapes along his arm. you're room was missing the quiet hums he'd make as you'd eventually cuddled up to him and his light snores that would be heard after. you tossed and turned trying to fall asleep but couldn't without the boy by your side. that night you were the one who felt hollow.

You know I'll always pick up your call
'Cause I'd rather have than nothing at all
I heard that you've found someone
Did you really find someone?

it was a normal day at the chateau with you, john b, pope, kiara, and sarah waiting for jj arrival so you could spend your day out on the water seeing as you were all done with working for the week. but as the minutes passed by which eventually turned into an hour everyone got tired of waiting and decided to head off not wanting to waste anymore of the day on the late boy. you decided to stay behind incase he showed up and didn't want him to be left abandoned. you hung out on the hammock about to take a nap when your phone woke you from your short lived slumber.
"hello?" you said not checking the caller id
"hey it's jj i'm not gonna make it today lacey called me up and asked if i'd go with her and some friends to the beach, tell the others i'm sorry and i hope you guys have fun" he said
"it's ok i'll let them know" you responded leaving out the fact that they had already left and you stayed waiting.
"thanks your the best i'll be there next time" he said before the call disconnected.
you felt the tears rolling down your face as you made the short trip home not knowing what else to do with your day.

I'm too tired to pretend that last night didn't hurt
When you called me a friend
And it wouldn't be the first time you made me cry
You don't even know why

it was the middle of the night when you heard a knocking on your window and you saw the familiar mop of blonde hair outside it.
"jj what are you doin-" he cut you off with a kiss before you could finish your question.
-
you ended up listening to him shortly after you were done rant on and on about how he had ended things because she was ashamed of him and didn't want to be as public as they were. jj obviously disagreed and gave her an ultimatum. she didn't chose the option jj hoped she would so he broke it off storming out landing himself outside your bedroom window. you held him and traced shapes along his arms like you always seemed to as he combed his fingers through your hair before the familiar snores of his filled the room making you slowly smile as you dozed off with him.
-
the next morning you woke up to an empty bed and a text from jj
jj🌊
she texted me
this morning and
apologized. she
wanted me
back
9:46 a.m.
                                                that's great j!
                                                       9:49 a.m.
                                                               read
you felt that empty feeling again knowing you had been used once again and he was with her once more.

And I'm watching as you watching her
And I'm watching as you watching her

you had to admit it hurt. seeing him with her. he hadn't been around the other pogues as much always making excuses even though everyone knew he was with her. they all seemed to brush it off as you felt the emptiness growing at every excuse and the worse and worse you felt.

Many times we felt it
Came close for a minute
Wrong place, wrong time
You were almost mine
I don't sleep, next time, please don't tell me
Honestly, I wish I saw things differently

she was out of town. she was on a trip with her parents and had barely texted jj leaving him to think the worst. he came over to smoked with you and everything was going great until you had to open your mouth. apparently in your delirious state your feelings had intensified greatly and as you and jj had pulled away from one another the words just slipped out.
"i love you"
those three words seems to ruin everything you both quickly sobered up after as he looked almost paralyzed from your sudden statement.
"i love you too, but as a friend" he said after some time of silence.
you nodded understanding how foolish you must've seemed for actually believing he could feel the same way about you.after that he made an excuse for needing to leave as you were left with your never ending thoughts and a whole in your heart.

part 2?