At an early age I kinda love expressing what I feel in many forms.
And I tried to express it in many ways.
One of them is painting when I feel like i'm not showing or expressing how I feel on my actions I want my paintings to explain it for me. But I don't name my paintings simply cause I just want it to let the viewers feel the emotions by seeing it, and not feeling emotions through what it's called.
Other is writing when I feel like i want to remember that day I'd open up my purple diary to write what happened that day but one thing that I haven't done while writing is dropping names.
Why? Because I know I'm gonna read that and I want to make myself remember the feeling not the person.
And at times I make songs unconsciously.
I just hum and suddenly lyrics comes out of my mouth automatically. And forget about it after.
I also play darts.
To test how I focus. On a topic. On a certain problem.
In every pin I put my emotions and energy and try to aim for the bull's eye.
And the long list of things I do goes on.
and then sometimes I felt like I'm not doing all of it because i'm finding where i'm good at.
It felt like I was distracting myself.
From something I don't even know.
It's a constant empty feeling.
Or a constant feeling that I want to escape something.
Do we really heal? or we're just distracted?
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:)
