chapter 1 💀

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My head snaps up at the sound of my alarm going off. Immediately, I groan and bury my face back in my pillow, too tired to even press the snooze button. I hear Ella rushing up and down the hallways, getting ready for her first day of grade eight. I don't even know how early she got up, but judging by the sounds of her quick footsteps, it's been awhile. As I hear the continued screams of my alarm, I remember that it's also my first day of school. Grade twelve. With a sigh, I roll over in my bed and squint at the ceiling, my eyes still not adjusted to the light of the morning sun streaming into the room. I follow the spinning of the fan blade with my eyes, regretting my decision to turn it on last night. It's going to be freezing when I get out from under the covers.

"Marina!" I hear Mom's voice and I cringe at how cranky she sounds, "Do us all a favour and turn that alarm off sometime this century!"

At once, I shoot up into a sitting position on my bed, Mom's harsh tone the only motivation I need to cut my sleeping time short. The sudden movement makes dark spots appear at the edges of my vision, and a dizzy feeling shoots through me. Still, I reach my arm out until I find the alarm on my bedside table, desperately feeling for the power button before her mood gets worse. I sigh in relief when I hear the high pitched siren shut off with a satisfying click.

"Sorry!" I call out. She doesn't respond, probably already gone back to sleep.

She's been like this since Dad died almost two years ago. Always cranky. She used to be so happy, always smiling no matter the situation we were in. Even when Dad was in the hospital, she had been hopeful, always staying positive for the benefit of everyone. Of course, positivity doesn't cure cancer. After his death, Ella and I grieved, mourned, did whatever people do when family members die. Mom did too, but she was never the same. She doesn't ask us about our day anymore, she doesn't even seem to care about what we do. After a while, I took over her roll, struggling between making sure she doesn't go too far off the rails, and looking out for Ella.

I shake the thoughts off and with a surge of effort, I rip the covers off me and drape my feet over the side of the bed. I yawn, then just sit there for a moment, eyes half closed and staring at the grey wall opposite to me. It's cold in the room, just like I thought it would be. After a moment, I force myself up onto my feet, quickly getting dressed, then walking towards the door. I pull it open, a little startled to see a blur of auburn hair fly by the open doorway. I'm too tired to jump though, managing only to raise my eyebrows in surprise while I lean forward and peer down the hallway, where Ella is entering the bathroom. Rolling my eyes, I slowly walk the way she went. I hope that she'll soon realize that nobody cares what you wear, or how you look. Although I can't be too critical, it took me a few years to grow out of it myself.

"Morning, El." I greet her as I come in, reaching for my hairbrush just as she drops her own down next to it.

"Yup." She replies absentmindedly.

What? Since when is 'yup' a viable response to 'good morning'? I give her a confused look and open my mouth to respond, but she's already scampering out of bathroom again. I whip my head around just in time to see her turn the corner, and I let out a huff of annoyance. She needs to calm down.

I continue to brush my hair and teeth, finding entertainment in watching Ella as she moves around in fast motion, sometimes making more short appearances in the bathroom before scurrying out again. When I'm done, I step out into the hall, getting out of the way as Mom trudges past me, looking almost zombie-like.

"Good morning." I say lightly. She only grunts in response, disappearing into the bathroom. I shake my head as I continue my journey to the stairs. Would it kill anybody in this family to give me a proper response?

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⏰ Last updated: Jul 01, 2020 ⏰

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