Joy #1
First day of school, when i finally saw the perfect someone to annoy. Don't get me wrong, I'm kinda kind. I'm just naughty. Anyway, let's just call him, Jacob. The time when i saw Jacob, I felt the excitement of having a new bestfriend but i didn't tell him about that. Of course, my first goal is to see him in deep annoyance. He looks so kind and physically strong yet he's so fragile. Because of my inexplicable noise, we've been the best of friends, or maybe i should call it 'frienemies'. No secrets, all flaws accepted, happy friendship, comfortable with each other and we never had a misunderstanding. A perfect kind of friendship, indeed. He's my favorite person. Whenever I'm with him i felt joy and excitement all over my system. Well, I can say that he also felt that way whenever we're together. I remember when we had a field trip. We was grade 7 that time. My mother's with me but ofc i sat beside Jacob. I don't know if that day is still called a field trip because everytime we're inside the bus, I'm always sleeping on Jacob's shoulder. His shoulder is the best pillow in the whole world. He even gave me his jacket when i told him i was cold though i already have one. I was just annoying him that time. I thought he would call me weird or brat but he sacrifice for me instead. That's the best feeling ever. I was so happy, amazed and i just love him so much. He's the best best friend in the world. When we were going back home, I was sleeping and dreamt of something scary. Chammy died in my dreams. I woke up crying then Jacob immediately hug and console me. My mother run towards us. Even though Jacob know what will my mother think or say, he didn't care of any and just continue comforting me. I didn't cry that long because his hugs always make me calm so easily. Its like his hugs were magical, maybe its because we're so comfortable with each other's company. I can say that that day was the best.
Ps.: Chammy is also one of my bestfriends. Thank you!!
Sadness #1
I once ask Jacob "Will you marry me?". He was a bit shocked and asked "That's too random. Why are you asking that?". "Well, I was listening to the song 'Marry me' by Jason Derulo and the thought just came up to my mind." i replied. He nod as a response then told me "If we're really meant for each other, why not?". I wasn't shocked nor overwhelmed that time. I knew that his answer will be like that. He's never been a straight-to-the-point guy. Grade 8 days, when i realised something. I was the one who was hit first, not by a car but by the arrow of cupid and also was the first one who left. Yes, i fell for him but he didn't catch me because right after i realised my feelings, he was falling too. The statement that i was the first who left is a fact. I know i was dumb. He's smart, good-looking, tall, understanding, kind and most of all, he's my comfort zone. But how can you blame me? I was young and naive. I was not serious of anything. I consider everything as a game i want to play, the game that i want to enjoy and experience. I saw another man. I don't exactly know how did my feelings derived from my comfort zone to him. I don't even know the personalities and history of that guy. I only knew that he's handsome and his name is awesome as well as his height and his overall appearance. I tried to get close to that man but i failed. And guess what? That guy was my girl high school friend's crush since elementary. Because of that, i tried to stop getting his attention and fortunately, i succeed. My comfort zone didn't leave me but i knew that he's avoiding me. Of course, his best friend hurt him, what can you expect? So many months have passed, he start to talk to me again. I was so happy that time and also confused. Why did he accept me again? I hurt him months ago because of this stupidity of mine. Is he not hurt of what I've done? I asked him about that, countless times, actually. But there's always a consistent answer coming from him "That's from the past, so i think we must forget about it and start a new. Why? Are you not happy that we're back with the best friend treatment? Don't you want to be my best friend again? Are you sick of my hugs that you used to love? My hugs that make you feel comfortable? Do you want anybody else's hugs? Aw that's sad." He's always like that. He always makes me feel comfortable. He knew that I'll get embarrassed if we recall the past. Well, i agree to his decision. I don't want him to get hurt for the second time either. Our best friend treatment didn't last until that day of our Grade 9 days. We fought over something. I saw him crying. I was not expecting that he will hide his problems from me. I avoided him. We didn't talk for weeks until that small misunderstanding became a big one. He's been so cold to me. I was always crying over those little things. I know that he's sad as well so i tried to get rid of that misunderstanding. I tried so many times before we finally cleared each other's thought and emotions. After settling the problem, we've been talking to each other for hours. Its like we didn't argue. Its like we didn't treat each other coldly. I was so happy back then, but he started to be cold again and this time it makes me feel so crazy.
