ONE-SHOT COMPILATION

I'M READY BUT HIS GONE

I was walking in the plaza when I felt my knees numb so, I take a rest for awhile in the bench. I let my eyes roam around and a lot of here in the plaza are couples or into a relationship, I lean my head on the bench and for some reason I close my eyes...when I heard a familiar voice.

"Ellaine" I heard someone called my name

My heart starts to beat erratically and I don't know why, its been a months since I already moved on but why is this happening?...slowly I open my eyes and meet his, he smile that my heart wanted to jump and he sat beside me.

"Sabi ko na ngaba ikaw yan. Kamusta?" He ask

"Okay lang, Ito humihinga pa rin"

I was trying to be serious but then I heard him chuckle 'what's funny?' the feeling is awkward and I have also this feeling of nervous the way I talk to him.

"Eh ikaw kamusta, may love life ba?"

I was smiling while I ask those well, hoping. I saw him smile not the typical smile I couldn't name it.. I just can't! Because one thing I know it hurts! I could say for the past months making myself busy was nonsense now that he was already in front of me and I can feel of pain, yung sugat na pinilit ko pinahihilom ay muling bumalik. Inshort, I wasn't move on.

"Buti nalang binigyan ako ng pagkakataon ni tadhana na makita kita" he said and let me confuse

"Bakit naman?"

"Para magpasalamat, alam mo kong Hindi mo ipinaramdam saakin na hindi lang ikaw ang babae sa mundo, na hindi lang dapat umiikot yung atensyon ko sayo, na may mahahanap pa ako na iba, na hindi ka pumayag na ligawan kita kahit na sinabi ko na sayong maghihintay ako.. I will never meet her Ellaine. Masakit saakin na ipagtabuyan mo ako dahil hindi ka pa handa and I realized those feelings are just infatuation and I wanted to say thank you"

he was smiling while saying those words. Little did he know that I was already dying inside I smile bitterly..little did he know that I did those to make sure he's the one. That even I threw him out he was still there and staying beside me and waiting patiently of me even if I don't give him a chance to court me because that the time I don't want to take it easy just because he has a feelings for me and I don't have.

'hindi ko gusto yung pinipilit dahil lang may pagtingin siya saakin. Ayokong pinipilit ang sarili ko na magmahal ang gusto ko ay matutunan siyang mahalin. Yung kusa kong mararamdaman yung pagmamahal ko sakanya'

I once said, few weeks past being with him and comfortable staying with him. I feel butterflies in my stomach, missing him for no reason and every minute, feeling sad when I found out there's no chat nor text with me.

I am happy because finally I am sure that I have a feelings for him. It was the time that I want to give him a chance to court me again but then it is also the time when he say,

'alam mo tama ka nga, simple ka lang and I was only attracted by your innocent face that I wanted to court you, make a long night conversation with you but, I want this to stop now. You may live well and nothing much to worry because I don't want to disturb you anymore'

After he say those words I felt sharpen hit my chest, it hurts! And everything went back in a cold like was before. Now is this the feeling of being hurt? Thanks! You made me experience it!

"Ano ka ba Wala iyon ang gusto ko lang naman ay makahanap ka ng mas higit pa saakin" I said and fake a smile 'really Ellaine? That's stupid!'

"Ikaw? Nahanap mo na ba?" I am expecting that he will ask me about this. I smile before answering him.

"Hindi pa" he was shock and stare at me for a moment

"Sa ganda mong yan hindi mo pa nahahanap?" He said like it was a big joke.

"Wag mong sabihin na hindi ka parin handa?" He ask again I shook my head and smile.

"Noon pa man ako handa pero nawala siya, handa na sana akong ipagsigawan siya sa mundo pero bigla ay napagod siya, pinilit kong kalimutan pero hindi ko nagawa dahil mahal ko pa rin siya hanggang ngayon" all of a sudden I become emotional I couldn't hide what was I feeling.

"Nakakalungkot pero cheer up lang makakahanap ka pa rin ng mas better sakanya" he said and give me an assuring smile.

'I hope I can find someone better than you' I utter to myself

"Niel!"  We turned back when somebody called him, it is coming from a girl. I saw him smile from the girl while approaching her..

"Ellaine, si Phoebe nga pala girlfriend ko at Phoebe si Ellaine kaibigan ko" he introduced.

"Mauna na kami" he said and wave I just nodded.

"Pero masaya na siya sa iba" I whisper and turn back to leave.

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  A/N: hi! If you are reading this thank you so much.

Photo sources: Google