Over and Over

It's 8:00 A.M, the beginning of another day. She woke up from her sleep, disturbed by the heat that had made her feel like her skin was boiling. Slowly, she got up from her bed, a small mattress on the floor of her small room. While staring at the sky through the curtains, she noted the iron bars blocking the window. What had once been setup to prevent thieves from getting in, they now served as a reminder to stay inside.

Earlier in the quarantine she had relished the freedom, the escape from the everyday routine, staying up till the morning and waking up deep into the afternoon. Now, she wanted nothing more than a return to form, and her sleep pattern showed that. There was something off about waking up this early and having no urgency to do anything.

It's 9:00 A.M. As attractive as the concept of a longer nap may be, there were other responsibilities to take on. As she opened her door, a plump black and white cat greeted her, meowing at her and following her. Her older sister, the only other person sharing this house, would still be sleeping at this time, exhausted from having to work on her requirements the night before. It was her responsibility to take care of the cats, she thought, scooping up the litter and placing food in their bowls. The sound of the kibble falling attracted the other cat, a fluffy orange-haired Persian who crept up closer.

As far as she was concerned right now her world was limited to this little system, aside from the people over the internet that felt more and more distant as the quarantine went on. She missed basic human interaction, more than she would let on. And so, any interaction at all, even if limited to these two cats and her sister, was deeply appreciated.

It's 10:00 A.M. She sat on the couch, peeking at the conversations her friends were having. There was so much going on in the outside world, but she couldn't help but stop paying attention as time went on. Even the shutdown of ABS-CBN, a topic she would have loved to talk about, would become as insignificant as one of the multitude of memes she would quickly scroll over through the course of the day.

It's 11:00 A.M. She went inside the bathroom, stripping herself and taking a shower. If the previous days had taught her anything it's that this would be the first of maybe three to five times she would shower in this day.

It's 12:00 noon. She sent a message to her boyfriend, greeting him good morning. This had become one of the other routines, something that she made sure never to miss. She had heard that the quarantine would be hard on some people mentally, but it had been especially hard on him, someone who'd already been struggling before the pandemic struck. She made sure to treat him as well as she could in the conditions they were in, she owed him that much. His birthday had taken place a couple of days ago and she had given him nothing else but a short message, something she was still guilty about.

It's 1:00 P.M. She cooked herself a cup of rice and opened up a can of sardines. The taste of sardines had started to sicken her now, but it was better than having another meal of hotdogs and eggs like she just had last night and the day before. Afterwards, she took a quick shower.

It's 2:00 P.M. She got on her phone and started looking at pictures of dogs and cats.

It's 3:00 P.M. Something inside was telling her that she should be doing something else.

It's 4:00 P.M. As the quarantine pass was in her name, she had the responsibility of having to find out how to pay the bills. Her sister badgered her on, warning her that the water and electricity and internet might get cut off anytime. Instead, she pretended not to listen, even though this was something that deeply bothered her.

It's 5:00 P.M. While lying in her bed she couldn't help but feel tears welling up in her eyes. She cried, careful not to make a sound. Turning herself off over so that her crying was muted by the pillow, she slowly drifted off to sleep.

It's 6:00 P.M. She woke up, her attention set on the cobwebs on the ceiling. Her boyfriend messaged her, asking her how she was feeling. Hearing from him and talking to him made her feel better. She told him she was doing great.

It's 7:00 P.M. She turned on her laptop and watched a movie. When she started the day she thought that she could watch at least four movies. Maybe she would have better luck tomorrow.

It's 8:00 P.M. Putting on her facemask and I.D, she got out of the house and carried a large bag of plastic garbage, which as she walked hit her on the legs and covered it with something wet. The stench of the trash invaded her nostrils, and so she hastened her steps. She got back inside and took another bath.

It's 9:00 P.M. Memories of the day escaped her now, fuzzy memories too insignificant to keep in her head. Back in her bed, freshly showered, the room completely dark aside from the bright light of the phone she kept too close to her face. Pictures after pictures of things she wouldn't be able to recall days after. The days had become so monotonous, so boring, so painful and so mundane. A sigh escaped her lips.

It's 10:00 P.M. Through her window the stars shined so bright against the night sky. Today was just like any other day, tonight just like any other night.

It's 11:00 P.M. Was she wasting her time doing nothing?

It's 12:00 midnight. Would tomorrow be any different?

It's 1:00 A.M. She let her phone slide down from her hand, landing with a thump on the tiles. In the darkness, she closed her eyes, and somewhere there she began to sleep.