Muted Yellow

chapter one

tw: swearing, depression, (slight, but still take this into account please) suicidal thoughts

"Oh COME ON!"

"Sorry, you just SUCK at Minecraft."

"Dude I asked you to cover me, I'm not as OP AS YOU!"

"Well, have fun getting your items out of the Nether. I'm not helping you."

"Fuck you."

"Fuck off."

Bakugo listened to Kirishima and Kaminari argue for a bit more, until zoning out again. It was a nice background noise to his thoughts. Thinking without listening to something was boring. At least this way, he could enjoy the helpless feeling that overwhelmed him on these days. It was kind of like an acoustic guitar playing along to the melody of emptiness. 

Today, his thoughts were yellower than usual. They were more of a muted yellow on most days. 

They engulfed his vision. Seas of yellow surrounded him. Almost a hopeful yellow, but the muted yellow of pointlessness remained. Maybe it was right. Maybe there was no such thing as hope, it was just the wanting to feel something. Or the desire to dream. 

The yellow dulled. Became more and more muted. 

Powerless.

"Hey, Bakugo! Wanna come with me grocery shopping?"

A spiky red blob broke through the yellow. He blinked the rest of it away. 

"Who else is going?" The last thing he wanted was to go outside and do something, he's rather sit and wallow, but Kirishima's will was too powerful.

"No one, unless you want others to come-"

"NO! I mean, it's fine, let's just go."

While they were walking out of the dorm building, he saw Kirishima throw him a confused glance. He ignored it and started walking faster.

+++

"Do you want to get anything in particular? I think Sero's cooking this week, so we might want to get something else to eat," Kirishima chuckled. 

"Blue," Bakugo whispered. 

"You say something?"

"I- What? No. You're just being delusional."

He felt himself flush. He didn't realize that he had said that out loud. But it was just so peculiar, he had to take note of it. 

Yellow and red. He had never seen any other color before. Even the red was starting to fade, the more he got used to U.A. 

So why blue? And why in a grocery store? Was it the music? Something he saw? Questions vaporized into shaky breaths. Shaky breaths escalated to hyperventilating. He dropped to the ground in a crouch.

Why? Why here? Why now? Why with Kirishima right there?

Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop.

"Bakugo! Hey! Focus on me, okay? Just look at me. It's gonna be okay. You're safe, I'm here."

He knew these were lies. Vacant promises being fed to him. But instead of disappearing into the abyss, they fell to his feet. 

It's gonna be okay.

You're safe, I'm here.

They stared up at him, almost expecting something. 

"Please listen to us," they said.

"Please listen to us."

"Please listen to us."

"Please listen to us..."

"Please!"

"Please listen to me! Bakugo, it's me, Kirishima."

He looked up. Kirishima was staring at him, panic written across his face.

"Let's go home. We got enough stuff anyway."

Bakugo nodded automatically. He started to follow his friend. 

He bumped the shelf in the aisle. A ramen cup fell down. He bent to pick it up.

Blue Ramen.

He swallowed dry. 

He put it back on the shelf, and ran to catch up with Kirishima.

---

sorry if this is kind of all over the place! its 3:30 am and i havent slept for a day uwu

if your confused, dont be afraid to ask questions! it might take me a bit to respond, so sorry about that.

constructive criticism is always welcome

thank you for reading!