The Mages of Royas Bay (Mages of Wrystan 1)

Chapter 8: Royas Bay, Part 2

SIR TOBIAS WOULD know about losing men under his command, he'd understand. Hawk read the truth in his eyes and the way the knight clenched his jaw. "Just because it suits us and lightens our guilt doesn't always mean it's a lie," he said after a long pause.

Hawk snorted. "My father put me in charge. I survived, my men didn't. I'm at fault."

Mage Faron made an exasperated noise, but Sir Tobias held up a silencing hand. "All right then, yes, you are at fault. You were the mage of the party, why didn't you feel the enemy?"

As the first shock of the accusation passed, Hawk clenched his fist. "I did. Irissa and I both felt them. We knew something was watching us."

"Then why didn't you run?"

"Run?" Hawk's eyes widened. The thought had never occurred to him. Why would he run? Wrystan was his home. "They were invaders. I couldn't leave them at large in the forest. They could have been anyone!" It was his duty as both a mage and a page to protect this kingdom.

"So you charged right in, dragging your unwilling men behind you?" Tobias accused.

"No!" Hawk snapped. "They found us first. We didn't even have time to think or plan."

"But you're a mage-page, aren't you?" the knight pressed. "Why didn't you escape or tell your men how to get away? Why didn't you stop Ren from fighting?"

"I'm only a page!" Hawk shouted. "I couldn't take on fifteen men and win, and no one in their right mind would follow my orders!"

As his words faded into the misty night, Hawk slowly brought his breathing back under control as he thought about what he'd said.

Sir Tobias squeezed his shoulder. "Precisely. Despite what you might think, Hawk, you're still a boy. They were all men. They had their own choices to make. They chose to follow Ren, and he led them to their deaths."

"No." Hawk denied, shaken but still fighting. "It wasn't his fault." He looked up at the knight, pleading for understanding. "It wasn't. He was trying to save us."

"From a position of complete weakness," Sir Tobias told him, though not unkindly. "He must have known he wouldn't win. How could he? They were outnumbered, unarmed and tied up. No one wins against those odds."

Hawk's shoulders sagged under the truth. It made him feel worse. "He was a good man. They were all good men." His head fell forward against Sir Tobias' chest.

Mage Faron patted his back. "Good men die just as often as bad ones. Usually more often. There's little we can do to change that, Hawk, except by fighting smart and well."

He shuddered as the emotions he'd crushed down for too many days welled up inside of him. "I should have done something."

The chest under his forehead heaved a sigh. "Next time you will. If you can find a clever way to do it. Getting yourself and everyone around you killed is not smart. Or heroic. A good knight saves as many as he possibly can, but not even the best can save them all." Firm hands pushed him back and he looked up into his knight-tutor's eyes. "It was a hard lesson, Hawk, but one we've all got to go through. Keep it with you and learn from it." Tobias let him go with a stern look. "Next time you won't get caught out. You'll be ready for trouble and find a way to combat it."

"Yes, sir," he promised.

"Then they didn't die in vain."

Hawk let out a deep sigh and felt the heavy weight of the last few days ease slightly. It didn't vanish, but it didn't press so hard either. It would take time to settle but he knew he could move on now.