before you go! rini/jolivia oneshots

i just need somebody (j+o)

this is a story about struggling with severe anxiety. if you don't feel comfortable with stuff like this then i suggest you skip this story. please read the note at the end of the story.

eccedentesiast - a person who hides their pain behind a smile

four times olivia struggled with her anxiety and no one noticed, and one time when somebody finally did.

it was may 3rd, 2019 and the cast was near the end of filming hsmtmts season one. as much as olivia loved being with the cast, all she wanted to do was go back to her apartment, lock her doors, and get into bed. but her plans were wrecked when tim surprised the cast with going out to dinner to celebrate how hard they had been working. to everyone else it was a simple mexican restaurant that was semi crowded, but to olivia it was much more. there was a line outside the door waiting to reserve a table so the cast was in a small circle waiting to go in. everyone was laughing and storytelling to keep themselves busy while olivia stood there trying to calm herself down and control her breathing. 

it wasn't working, which ultimately made everything worse. at this point she was shaking and rubbing her fingers together as a result of her anxiety. the cast noticed this and became concerned. "liv are you okay?" julia questioned. olivia shook her head no. "what's wrong girlie?" frankie asked. olivia sighed before replying "there's just so many people here and i'm really scared because you never know if they could-" she tried to explain but was cut off by matt. "wait, you're afraid of people?" he said as they all chuckled. "yes but it's not how it seems i-" she tried once more but was cut off. "just don't be scared" frankie said. "yeah nobody is gonna hurt you, i don't understand why you're scared". julia tried to reassure her. dara rolled her eyes  before saying, "so are we gonna have to go home because of this?" sofia cut in before olivia could reply "no, seriously olivia just get over it. it's not that hard" they all nodded. olivia put on a fake smile as she replied, "yeah, you're right"

----

it was june 27th, 2019 and the cast was hanging out in one of the conference rooms just to relax and play games after filming. dara and sofia announced they were hungry and soon everyone agreed, except for olivia of course. the two girls offered to get a list of the food everyone wanted and bring it back.  olivia was standing in the kitchen when they approached her, "we're going to the store, want anything?" sofia asked. olivia shook her head no and looked away. dara caught onto this, "are you okay?" she messed with her hands and replies with, "um yeah but please be careful. also if you don't mind will you please text me when y'all get there and when y'all get back please? just so i know you're okay" she almost whispered but due to how close they were to her the girls heard. she was really scared they might think she was too clingy or annoying, she just wanted to make sure they were safe. the two exchanged glances before dara replied "um, sure i guess but why do you need us to text you? you know where we are so you shouldn't be scared" olivia nodded a little, "i know i just need to make sure, please" she said as her eyes filled with tears. "oh my gosh don't be a baby! we'll text you, geez" sofia said and the two walked away leaving olivia to cry silently, scared for anyone to hear her. she soon collected herself and put on her fake smile.

----

it was september 31st, 2019, also the day of D23. olivia was so nervous. she slept about 30 minutes the night before, her thoughts keeping her awake. she rode with josh to the event to get ready for the day. he noticed how she rubbed her fingers and tensed up a lot but chose to let it go. they quickly arrived and headed to hair and makeup. after getting ready, she peaked her head to see the crowd waiting for them to come on stage. her hands started to get shaky as she held onto the side of the curtain. she released her grip and ran up to joe and frankie. "where is the bathroom here?" joe scooted closer to her, rubbing her back before replying "it's right there " she let out a small 'thanks' and sped off through the crowd of people to the bathroom. she locked the door and slowly slid down the wall as small sobs escaped her mouth. she couldn't hold them back. everything hurt, her stomach was in pain from so much worrying, she had a terrible headache, and just wanted to tell somebody. but she couldn't. she was far too afraid of being judged by her friends because she should be able to be in a crowded place and be okay, but she just couldn't do it. after a while, she picked herself up and made sure she looked nice and returned to her friends. her fake smile, making another appearance.