Malediction: the love and life of Astoria Malfoy

Chapter Three

My first year at Hogwarts went decently well. I suppose I could've made friends with Flora and Hestia Carrow, or Alvina Vonshen, the girls in my year whom I shared a dormitory with. Yes, I definitely could have. But I didn't.

They didn't dislike me, or, at least if they did I hadn't known, but I was too preoccupied trailing after Daphne. I could feel myself becoming more and more annoying. Any chance I could sit with her, walk with her, talk to her, I would jump at. I knew I was suffocating her, being the pathetic little sister she couldn't get rid of. However, despite how frustrating it must've been to have me as a shadow, she never let it slip. Her shiny neat exterior was still strong, even when Pansy and I would quarrel.

Ah, yes. Pansy. How do I describe the relationship between Pansy and I? Our detestation for each other wasn't so much verbal as it was felt. I was the obnoxious little sister that interrupted her time with Daphne. She treated me like I was a little kid, and her disdain for me was glaringly obvious, the way she slouched over when I came, or heaved in a great sigh, or, if I caught her in a really foul mood (which was more often than not) an over exaggerated eye roll would be my greeting.

Me, I would just ignore her. Not in a 'be the bigger person' sort of way, no, the cold shoulder, painfully obvious type of ignoring.

If Daphne was standing between us and we were both talking to her, we pretended the other never existed. Poof. Never born. Daphne asked us both a question? We'd answer at the same time because the other one wasn't there in our minds.

I believe she really began to hate me when I was in my second year. It was dinner and we were all sitting at the Slytherin table. I was sitting next to Daphne, who was sitting next to Pansy (as it was every night), who was sitting across from Draco. As per usual, I heard Pansy's voice and immediately shut it out. La la la, I couldn't hear her, and traveled somewhere in a day dream or maybe a worry. I stayed in my vegetative Pansy-ignoring state until the words "Yule Ball" ripped me from my concentration.

"I mean, you have to take someone, Draco, and I think we would look just riveting together." Pansy gushed.

Did she really just use the word riveting? Watching this conversation go down in flames, that was riveting. Pug-face and ferret-boy cozying up together at the Yule Ball? Definitely not riveting, more like nauseating.

"Don't you think, Daphne?" Pansy said, kicking my sister's foot under the table. Daphne nodded her head with a grin. I couldn't help it, I really, really tried to conceal it, but a few giggles slipped through my lips.

Pansy's head snapped in my direction, her face in an alarmingly, horrifyingly hideous scowl. I quieted immediately at the sight.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Draco responded, in his usual bored drawl. This bit made me stifle a laugh as well. 'Uh, yeah, sure'? Wow -- enthusiastic.

Yes, I definitely think that was when she began to hate me.

* * *

Up until that spring, in my second year, I'd successfully avoided contact with mudbloods. Being in Slytherin, there were hardly any. The idea of outsiders coming into our school, running the risk of exposing wizardkind was disconcerting enough, let alone talking to them.

Of course, that was until Professor Snape moved a few seats around in potions class and my new neighbor was Holly Anderson.

Everything was normal, and we were making a Pepperup Potion about a week after the new seating arrangements. Holly was actually very impressive when it came to potion making, and my marks were increasing a bit with her as a partner. She was sweet, and very, very, animated. She herself was a living Pepperup Potion.

I tried making some polite conversation with Holly after a short bout of awkward silence. She happily complied, thank Merlin, and we mustered up a few sentences worth of conversation on the given topic of Hogsmead. I was most surprised to hear she'd never been. Another beat of quiet.

"So, um. . . did you ask the Sorting Hat to place you in Slytherin?" she asked, desperately trying to find another subject to serve for conversation.

"Hm? Oh, yes, I did. My whole family has been in Slytherin for generations. If I wasn't one, well, it um, wouldn't have been good," I said. A nervous laugh. "What about you? Did you ask to be in Gryffindor?" I said, motioning to her robes.

"Oh, no. I didn't know anything about the Hogwarts houses before I came. I'm muggle-born, you see," she said, completely casually, with an innocent smile.

My face must have noticeably contorted, because suddenly her smile evaporated and was replaced with a startled look in her wide eyes, her lips slightly parted in a frown. I quickly looked down, and began to stir the potion.

"Ah, um, Professor Snape, it seems we've finished," I said, embarrassed I let my disappointment slip so obviously. I wished I could've been more like Draco or Pansy (which is scary), no mudbloods ever dare speak to them (unless of course they were looking for trouble like Hermione Granger or someone) so they never had to deal with the messy ends of disbanding friendships or making their beliefs clear -- it was just known.

After that day, Holly kept much quieter during potions class for the duration of the year.