Flatline

living in a bad dream

Hayley didn't sleep at all the night before the show. She tossed and turned for hours in the night, imagining everything bad that could happen. Her and Lukas were regulars at The End, and had often gotten their way into sold out shows because of this, so even if the show was sold out, what if he got in anyway? If he were to get in, would she see him? What would happen if she did? Would she run? Or freeze? She had no reason to believe he would even come though other than the irrational parts of her brain telling her that she had made a bad decision by dropping the charges.

She relied on coffee to get her through the day. It finally came to getting ready, and she was stuck. Brian picked out many different outfits for her but they all felt much too revealing, even if it were just her arms or back. She tried to assure herself that Lukas wouldn't show up, and Zac kept reminding her too, but it didn't make her any less scared.

She settled on a long sleeved green shirt and black jeans. Mark gave her a pat on the back before she went on and she flinched away, staring at him in total fear. He would've asked what was wrong but they needed to go on.

Hayley avoided properly looking out at the crowd until they got through the first two songs and she had to speak. She kept her eyes down to the floor while she did, even though it looked unnatural.

Her eyes involuntarily moved to the crowd when someone shouted "I love you!" Very loudly, making everyone laugh. She smiled, but was now scanning through the rows of people looking for him. It was dark and she couldn't really see, which she was thankful for.

She spoke about how sorry they were for art + friends but didn't mention anything about Taylor or the police. She actually managed to get through to the last song, until the crowd lit up and she recognised a face in the back. Her mouth just stopped working for a moment as her mind flashed to being held down and not being able to breathe.

She looked again. He was singing along to the words she was meant to be singing. She tried to remember exactly what was said.

You need to stay away from me. Never come here, never contact me again

He was pretty far away from her and he wasn't technically contacting her. Anger and fear still rushed through her veins at the same time. She tried to think reasonably: what if she was imagining it? What if she had been thinking about it so much that she was hallucinating him?

She sung through the last chorus and got off the stage as quickly as possible, running outside to get some air. She knew Lukas and she knew he would hang around the bar at the back of the venue until the place closed. They used to do it together.

Or maybe she didn't actually see him and she just thought she did. Maybe she saw someone that looked like him. But then again, she'd never forget his face. Never.

The night was weirdly cold for Nashville, but time had been going by so quick recently, it was hard to imagine her and Taylor broke up at the end of August and now it was mid October. She pressed her body up against the wall to cool herself down.

It worked, and she went back in to take off her in ears and get changed. Zac could tell Hayley was exhausted, even from just the short set, and decided to leave her be. He had asked her way too many times today how she was feeling and would probably get annoyed with any more. She changed silently, then began to pack up her things.

One of the stage assistants came into the room where they were packing up.

"Hi, Hayley there's a Cristi Williams front of house waiting for you," Hayley smiled in relief at getting to see her mom. Joey decided to accompany her to say hi. Lukas totally slipped her mind in the comfort of thinking about seeing her mom. They got out off of the stage and Hayley's entire body froze when she saw Lukas and her mother speaking.