Welcome to the BAU

The Jet

                                                                                   *6 days later*

                            That was a tough case.  On the jet ride home, I sat next to Emily and across from Derek. Spencer was asleep on the couch across the aisle from us and I couldn't help but to glance over at him now and again. Morgan looked to be asleep or close with his headphones in. Emily seemed to be in an... intense text conversation with someone. I leaned my head against the window, my mind and heart seemed to be full of details from the case. Soon enough, Derek and Emily notice. Derek says, "Hey Newbie, what's going on inside that head of yours?"     Dang it, I kick myself. I really need to work on my poker face. Emily sets a worried hand on my arm, "Hey Sawyer, you know that you can talk to us about anything, right?"    "Yeah... I was just thinking about the case. Something just didn't sit right with me. Why would he have killed his daughter? That would've been his first kill, but there was no reason, no trigger for him to kill her. She wasn't in the right age range for his preference."     Derek, with his headphones around his neck, looks up at me, face full of sympathy. "It's okay kid. This was a hard case for all of us."      Just as Derek finished his sentence, Rossi stand us from where he's sitting and Hotch stirs.  "Something wrong, Dave?"   "No, I'm good. Just getting a drink. You want one?"  "Sure" Hotch replies. Rossi walks towards us and says, "Hey, New Kid, you want a drink?"   "Yeah, I could use something." I step around Em and towards Rossi. Once we reach the back he looks me in the eye. "You know it's okay to struggle on your first case. We deal with some dark stuff. You just gotta find a coping strategy."    "Yeah, I know. It's just hard to stop thinking about those poor girls. And what if he-" Rossi cuts me off.  "Kid, I know that it's hard, but it's important to let the case go. We caught the bad guy and gave his victim's families closure. That's what matters. You can't get hung up on the details of the case. You'll never be able to let it go."   "Thanks Rossi- er I mean Dave.. I mean um..."      "You can call me Rossi or Dave. Either one... Well, I better get this back to Hotch" He nods towards that drink in his hand.  "Thanks again."  "You can always talk to any of us. We're your family now, Kid."  With that, he strides back towards Hotch, two drinks in hand. I decide to just go with coffee. As I head back toward my seat, reflecting on what Rossi said, I feel a pang of something unnameable in my heart. Sadness? Pride? Then I get it. Belonging. All my life, I've never had somewhere that I belong, and now, surrounded by these beautiful people, I do. I get back to my seat, settle back in and look over at Em. She's texting again. I ask her who she's talking to and she just blushes. I look back at Derek, wondering if he could read her better than me, but he already has his headphones back on, eyes closed, looking ready for sleep. I decide to leave it til tomorrow. As I fall asleep, I glance back toward Spencer, feeling a tiny prick of jealousy seeing JJ curled up by his feet. I flinch to myself. "He's my co-worker" I hope I can resolve these feelings. As I finally drift off, looking at this team, my new team, I feel... content. I think that I'm gonna like it here at the BAU.