Careless Whispers

6

Looking in the mirror, I press play on my iPod and start my song. I hear the music pulsing through my earbuds and I carefully rehearse the steps to the dance I have been practicing for my own sanity. It is a cycle. I go through it whenever my eternal grief gets hard to bear. When I'm reminded of Peeta and the depression that consumed my heart all those years ago.

Meeting one of his descendants, I can barely breathe sometimes. Every speck of this boy reminds me of Peeta. My Peeta. The boy who loved me so much that he would have run away from his family and money, for me. And every time I see that boy's face, I'm reminded of that life I lost all over again. 

I sense a presence and open my eyes, smiling at the person's reflection. "You don't need to stay in the doorway. This is a studio, not a home. And even if it were," I turn around to look at her. "witches don't need to be invited in, Rue." She smiles, her hazel eyes glowing as she walks over to me.

"How's school?" She asks, her thick black curls bouncing as she walks over to me.

"Fine," I say and she yanks my headphone out."Ouch!"

"Oh please, something that little hasn't bothered you in 2 century," She says looking at me. "You called and I foolishly answered because believe it or not, I don't frown upon the existence of all of your kind like some of my sisters. So why have you summoned me to the den of beasts like yourself?" I turn off my music and  turn to her. 

"You're right, I did call you," I say, walking over and setting my thinks in my bag. "What do you know of the Mellark bloodline?"

"What do you mean?" She says and I look over at her as I pull my wine bottle from my bag and proceed to take a swig of the mixture in it of of human blood from the blood bank, cow blood from a butcher shop, and a strong whiskey. I wipe my mouth and look over at her. 

"I told you my life's story, at least the PG 13 parts, prior to my turning," I say. "I know you are the least bit curious and looked into his family tree." Rue looks at me and I set the bottle down. She plays with her woven bracelet a little and I tilt my head. "So you do know something."

"Yes, Katniss, I traced it," She admits. "And I also know that one of the most recent generation of brothers is here. But you already knew that." She looks up at me and her small frame steps confidently forward. "You wouldn't have called unless you had suspicions of something more about the Peeta Mellark of the 21st Century. So spill. I'm a 17 year old girl. I adore gossip." I roll my eyes and she laughs.

"He's a doppelganger," I say simply. "That's all." Rue shakes her head and walks around me. 

"Now, now, now," She says. "You wouldn't have called me if it were as simple as that." I turn my head to look over my shoulder at her as she walks around me. "Nor would I have come." 

"What are you suggesting?" I ask and she stops in front of me.

"The 'R' word," She says and I look at her. 

"The 'R' word?" I ask. 

"Oh, you know, Buddhist Principle, lets you come back for a second chance," she says smirking and I scoff.

"Really, reincarnation?" I say. "People do not come back from the dead Rue. Not without consequences. And besides, he lived a full life. Why would he need a second chance?" Rue looks at me and shakes her head.

"You stopped  wearing pure black," She says and I look down at my green shirt. "Admittedly, you did take the goth thing a little too far."

"I was in mourning," I say and she chuckles, going to sit down on a bench.

"But suddenly, you aren't anymore," She says and I blink. "Looking at that charming face, the one you've been mourning for centuries, you don't feel that sorrow quite as strongly anymore, do you Katniss?" 

"If anything, it hurts more to have to see what I lost all over again," I say, sitting down. "But it can't be him. Reincarnation does not exist."

"You are a fool to think that is true when you are a two hundred year old blood drinker talking to someone who casts spells and makes potions," Rue says. "It is entirely possible. I read about it in one of my coven's tomes. " 

"How do you know it isn't just a story?" I say.

"Because," She says. The same reason he walked up to you on that first day of school and you feel your sorrow waning," Rue says. "Soulmates find one another no matter how far away."

"Peeta was the one person I let myself care about," I say shaking my head. "But we weren't soulmates. He found his after I was gone. He had a family."

"Having wife and a family doesn't mean he didn't miss you every single day," she says. "That he never wondered why you just disappeared one day." I look down and she reaches into her bag. "Do you want to find out?" 

"What?" I ask, looking up at her as she pulls some herbs from her bag.  

"Doppelganger or one true love?" She says. "Just let me see your necklace and a drop of your blood." I clutch my necklace and shake my head. 

"I don't want to know," I say. "It would only tempt me to change him, turn him into a monster. I wouldn't have it then and if it is Peeta, I wouldn't have it now." Rue looks at me and sighs. 

"You should give him the choice," she says and I blink at her. 

"You've never gone through the transition, Rue," I say sternly, holding onto my necklace tightly. "I have. It is painful and the hunger is unbearable. You have to kill eventually. Those of pure hearts would not survive it. His heart was the purest I've ever known. I will not allow it to face the corruption of the bloodlust that comes with this death. 

"I understand that, I suppose," She says softly, gathering her things again. "But there is one thing I suppose that might be of interest to you, Song of a Flaming Bird." I walk over to my things and shake my head. 

"You shouldn't call me that, even here," I say, closing up my pack. "If someone were to hear you call me that name, well."

"Afraid it would shake some memories of an old life in someone," Rue asks. "The painting studio is just next door, isn't it?" I look over at her and purse my lips.

"Stop suggesting such things, witch," I hiss. "Just tell me the little secret and you may go. I do not wish to disturb his life with this world."

"He's Fletcher's son," She says simply and I turn to look fully at her. 

"Fletcher?" I ask her and she nods. 

"Now it interests you even more huh?" She says. "Not only is he possibly your lost love, but the son of one of the only humans you have ever let yourself give more than two shits about." 

"I will continue to be his friend and protect him, as I had intended from the beginning. Being the offspring of a boy I ran around with in the 1980's does little to change that," I grab my things and pass her, walking from the studio. "Have fun on your tour, doll. I look forward to you joining the fray in the coming year." I walk past the painting studio and glance in, watching him painting the ocean scene he had been working on outside of class. I sigh and shake my head.

As I told Rue, the further he is away from me and my darkness, the better.