one shots // falsettos.

maybe i will be okay // vent

so this is a vent. sorry it's so short.

you don't have to read this, you can skip if you want. i jus had to get my feelings out sjsjsh

thank you to a certain someone for cheering me up!! ( you know who you are >:) even though i didn't tell you--)

i'm feeling better today!! uh, thanks for reading my book, it means so much to me. stay safe. <33

•••

as the blood orange sun sank deeper and deeper into the horizon, so did marvins heart. the thick, sickening air was almost suffocating him, no matter how many windows he opened. his mother and father were downstairs, and his brother was in the room next door.

no matter how much the poor boy tried, he couldn't manage to lose any weight. he lifted up his shirt to reveal a podgy stomach, poking at it with distaste. just the sight of that alone made him want to curl into a ball and cry. his face was also where weight would gather, yet not on his arms and legs. his brother somehow ate the same amount as him, and he looked like he barely ate at all.

the morning of that same day, chris hopped onto those dreaded scales before eating breakfast, and marvin couldn't bare to hear it. he dashed upstairs to the bathroom, just to hide from what he knew was coming.

9 stone 4 for a 17 year old.

marvin, being 15, sat at 8 stone 2 and 3/4.

he couldn't escape his brothers bewildered remarks of how much weight he had lost, and then his parents telling him to eat whatever, just to up it a slight bit. their voices suddenly seemed louder than they were, insulting him, taunting him

then, marvin couldn't hold it any longer. it was as if his emotions were locked behind a cage, until they got too heavy for him, and came cascading out and flowing all through his foggy brain, causing a major shutdown.

tears flowed freely down his flushed cheeks, and angry, blaring alarms clashed with his self-depreciating thoughts, louder than they'd ever been, drowning out any that made him feel even a little bit better about himself.

although, to be fair, that voice disappeared a long, long time ago.

he threw open the door of the bathroom, ran through the hallway to his closet-sized bedroom, and flung himself onto his small, unkempt bed.

he hugged his chest with all the strength he could muster, while his body shook and his mind was trying to get everything back in order.

he's better than you've ever been.

you'll never be as good as he is.

what a disgrace.

his heart began to slow down, akin to his breathing. his mind decided to shut the fuck up, and his body begun to still.

he thought about the people who were there, the people who didn't care about what he looked like. the people who liked him, put up with him, even. how they always stuck around him, and knew when and how to comfort him. the people who like marvin for... well, marvin.

as he rubbed his swimming, red-rimmed eyes, he thought to himself.

maybe i will be okay.