Light Before Love

grace in the storm

chapter one

I have too much to be grateful for. My grace doesn't allow me to be angry at everything life has arranged for me. Call it negligence of my emotions, but to me, it feels like I'm solely easing the pain. Most personages take medication to alleviate their symptoms-I just find gratitude. Miss Marian, the woman who basically raised me, continuously tells me one notion that her husband used to always tell her; Don't see the light before you see the love.

She would say you could procure many interpretations of that saying. Her husband managed to regularly tell her that if the meaning of that particular saying changes in your mind as you get older, then you have succeeded in growing. Perspective is meant to develop as you grow. If what you see or believe in doesn't gradually change, then you simply aren't living life. You aren't thoroughly growing if your mind isn't constantly learning and changing with the rest of you.

One time, I tried to squeeze it out of Mrs. Marianne of what she thought about the saying. I wanted to know what it meant to her. Her lips grew sealed leaving me to devise and figure it out on my own. No matter how hard I tried, I always seemed to fail. At first, I believed the saying staring right at me as I thought about it. I believed it meant that you're not supposed to be blinded by light before you can accept love.

What does the saying mean to me now?

In my eyes, I want to say that it means seeing what you should be appreciative of before chasing towards the things that aren't most significant. Be grateful for the things that made that rainbow. In other words, love the storm because, without it, there wouldn't have been the rainbow. It is the way of life.

"Tell me more about your husband," I conveyed. She turned around, smiling the most radiant smile. There was something distinctive about her lately. I couldn't precisely pinpoint what it was that was adding the extra liveliness to her step.

"He was unlike any man I've ever met before. He was the complete gentleman in every way. My gorgeous Elijah was a poet. He loved to write almost as much he loved to coach football. You know, he taught Andy everything he knows," she stopped, staring at an older picture of her son. My eyes followed hers as I looked over at his picture on the wall. His ruffled brown hair was sprawled on top of his head as he shot the camera a dazzling two-front-teeth missing smile. I could remember Elijah briefly. Most times he was away on football travelings, but when he was there he was the absolute best person I've ever met.

"I'm not sure if you remember Andy, Charley. He's a sweet boy, but he couldn't stand the loss of his father when he was thirteen. He shut me out before I could even get the chance to comfort him," she spoke dejectedly, "I knew him heading down the wrong path since his father's passing would mess up his plans for the dream of playing football. So, as painful as it was, I sent him away."

Yeah, I remember Andy. He would make fun of me using the viral video that came out at the time. When we were neighbors and both of us were about six years old, he would put his finger in my mouth and say, "Charlie bit my finger!"

It was not only revolting, but it was also extremely bothersome. Although, there were occasions when he wasn't as bad. He was overprotective of me, and would sometimes make me feel content by playing with me, using my dolls when I had no one else to play with. He would always show how much he hated it, but that never stopped him from playing. Usually, I would make up for it by playing football with him.

One day right before he had been sent off to private boarding school, he actually kissed me on the swing-set. I was so taken by surprise. At that time, we were only about thirteen years old. He had been my first kiss, and I had been his. Truthfully, I don't even count that duration of my life. He probably saw his parents do it so many times that he wanted to try it too.