mentions of- rape, abuse, death, and straight (well gay...) sad.
DRACO'S POV.
this was it.
i'm on the astronomy tower.
over the railing about the let go.
everything is too much for me. ever since i came back for a eighth year Potter has gotten worse. calling me a death eater, how i betrayed everyone, that i can't even qualify as a Slytherin, he's hit me about 5-6 times, some so far go me bleeding out.
here i thought Harry Potter was supposed to save people and make them feel safe and happy.
not me.
he didn't save me. he didn't make me feel safe. he didn't make me feel happy. he didn't save me because he let the ministry take me to Azkaban for a couple of days. he didn't make me feel safe because just bullies me, my bullying were only words like "i don't think your gonna last 10 minutes" or "you actually fainted?!" but he hurt me, on my skin, my self. he didn't make me feel happy because he's one of the other reasons i cry myself to sleep silently, and cry while haven't to bleed out on the floor.
i've always loved Harry.
no matter how much he hurts me. how could i not love him?
his raven hair. emerald like eyes. his smile. his laugh.
and he was too oblivious to see i only smile around him, i don't smile at Granger, nor Weasley, nor my own friends and family, only him.
he made my life a even bigger living hell.
so i'm glad with this decision i'm about to make.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HARRY'S POV.
i get out the mauraders map. i don't know why. just became a habit of using it so much to see if Malfoy was up to something.
"i solemy swear that i'm up to no good" i whisper and names start to pop up.
one partially catching my eye.
Draco Malfoy.
he's on the astronomy tower. why? maybe he's up to something again...
i get up and grab my invisibility cloak and put it over my body. i silently leave the room and out the common room.
i watch out for anyone around at night making my way to Malfoy.
i'm climbing up the stairs when my thoughts over take me.
"this bloody prat is probably up to something no good! probably talking to death eaters that escaped during the war. the boy is a death eater himself, so i wouldn't be s-"
i snap out of my thoughts when i reach the top of the tower, seeing something that makes me feel horrible.
Malfoy. over the railing of the tower. holding on not too tight.
oh my...
i take off the cloak and slowly and silently walk over so he doesn't know i'm here. i hear him whispering things to himself.
"he's right...death eater. you deserved the beatings traitor. because nothing ever goes right for you does it? even worse a gay death eater that's in love with him. what's wrong with you Draco? probably gone mad haven't you? all those tears waisted. crying won't help him be attracted to you. no matter how many crop tops you wear on no class days he'll never care. he's the hero, your the villain so just let go!"
everything he says breaks my heart.
beatings? oh Merlin from me...
i never really mean them, i honestly love him. i only do it for comfort of my own skin...
i see him start to crying more.
"Draco..." i say quietly and calmly.
"Potter?" he asks turning his head over his shoulder.
"Draco what the hell are you doing?" i ask a little more loudly.
"well Potter i came here to look out this lovely view" he sarcastically says.
"Draco stop, get your ass back over the railing or i'm falling with you.
he stays silent.
i put out my hand.
"please...i'm not going to hurt you" i quietly say.
he looks tense for a moment before his left hand meets my right hand.
i sigh in relief as i start to pull him back over the railing carefully.
once he's over the railing he starts to cry and fall to the floor.
i sit down next to him and bring him into an embrace tightly holding onto him. to my surprise he hugs back.
"why were you going to do that Draco?" i ask a while.
he pushes back gently and begins to speak.
"well, after the war i've felt more guilt even if i was forced to do these things. i dream everyday what it would have been like to be on the light side. how i wish i didn't make the small insult about Weasley in first year so we could've been friends. i'm an asshole and i know it. just hurts when there's someone to remind you everyday. someone you've loved since you saw him in that robe shop remind you awful things you already know and want to forget. even worse when there hurting you already during a panic attack or the need to cut yourself. then when you make it back to your room you can't help but remember the time your own father raped you in your bed till you couldn't feel anything. all the crucio curses. how close i was to the killing curse. having everyone hate you for something you couldn't control. having this disgusting mark on your arm means your evil and you wanted it, right? not even close. because i rather have this tattoo saying Gryffindor then this. not being able to eat. even the teachers hating you. your only friend that's supposed to help you threw things that left in your
most vulnerable state. i can't even pretend to smile without crying. people screaming "Harry Potter! thank you for saving my son!" and then "Draco Malfoy almost killed my son!" hurts a lot. how my dreams changed dramatically from kissing the boy you love to the war. i'm gay which makes everything worse. but i guess the beating you gave me earlier just made me snap and realize everything" he kept explaining and explaining and he was sobbing while i silently cried.
"Draco i- im so so so sorry i made you almost do this! truth is i like you and only hurt you like that because it felt good for my own stupid relief" i explain crying.
"it's fine. but remember that time you and your friends were taunting me about "what i wanted the most" and you guys said fame, money, to be voldemort's right hand?" he asked. how i feel so bad about that.
"y-yes?" my voice cracks.
"i whispered "i want a hug" before walking out the great hall that day. and nobody could give me that hug, so i went to my room and took out my only friend" he took out a small stuffed pig plushy from his pocket now crying on it.
"i hugged it all day while crying, that's why i missed classes. i hugged it so hard if it were alive i'd probably hurt it" he chuckled a little tears still running down his face as he looks at the stuffed animal.
i stayed silent. how awful could i be? he's so vulnerable and not ok because of me. all he wants is a hug. so i'll give him one.
"can i give you a hug?" i ask him, voice cracking as i do ask.
he looks up and nods at me while sobbing more into my shoulder.
"my mother gave this pig to me when i was 4 years old. father tried ripping it after my mother died when i was 6. he always hated pigs and didn't want me to have it. luckily i saved it before he did" he explains.
"oh Draco..." is all i can say.
i pull back looking into his silver with a tint of blue eyes filled with pain. i start to lean in a little before closing the gap between us.
he surprisingly kisses back. it was a passionate loving kiss.
we pulled back and he smiled as one last tear rolled down his face before resting his head on my chest.
(A/N) ngl i cried while writing some of the parts sooo- did i make u cry too? if so sowwyyyy.
