Diaries Against Racism.

Colour Racism faced by me.

Well Colour Racism has been in India from ages and is still standing strong over here.

Even tho people have showed that they are totally disgusted from the fact of colour discrimination but it's still present in thier brains.

I heard this lines forever from people who are looking for daughter in law that they want her to be fair skinned and beautiful.

Why tho? Why do you want a daughter in law to have fair skin? Only fair skinned girls can help run a house or only fair skinned girls are intelligent with great personalities?

And let me tell you one thing the skin tones in India ranges from
1.Very fair
2.Fair
3. Bit dusky also bit fair
4. Dusky toned
5. Dark toned

I really didn't wanted to give numbers to them but for further explanation this will help. So the people with tones ranging from 2 to 5 always wish to have a tone brighter or few tones brighter than their orginal one. Why? Why aren't you happy with the tone you were born with?

The answer is very simple, in indian mindset if you want to be beautiful you have to be fair skinned.

For example I'm going to give you situations which happened with me and I know for sure happens with every 3 to 5 skin toned person. And let me add this that majority of colour racism happens with female gender not male gender in India or other brown countries. I don't know why but it's has always been like that.
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My elder sister is very fair skinned and I was brown skinned infront of her. Through all my life I've seen people praising her that she was very beautiful and blessed with a great mind and personality.

Actually I didn't minded that until I was a teenager. Well I thought that now people will praise me the same way they did for her but I didn't got any. Not even for a personality or for having good academic score.

It did hurt for a while but I did let it go.

Then cameba faze for me of bringing friends at home and it got worst my friends started to tell me whenever the topic of my elder sister came forward that she was beautiful and nice. They practically loved her and called her pretty all the time.

Then there was an episode I had with my neighbour Mrs. Kanchanwala who had brought her sister at our house. At that time no one was in the house expect me. So I had to attend them.

Then suddenly Mrs. Kanchanwala started boosting about how beautiful my elder sister is that she should be a model or actress. Then her sister looked at me and Mrs. Kanchanwala said something which still rings in my head, "She's nothing like her. Her elder sister is far too beautiful."

It hit me like a slap cause for being a 15 year old girl I had thought I was beautiful than anyone else.

And I had seen my sister in home while picking her nose, with her greasy hair, while making ugly faces at me and all of her. I always had thought she was nothing special but from that day I started noticing her from other people's eyes and then it hit me.

She was a tone fairer than me and she always took care of her skin while I roamed without a care about tanning myself. I was better in sports so it didn't helped my skin cause I was always outside getting tanned by being under the sun for straight 3 to 4 hours each day.

From the day I had that episode with my neighbour, I started noticing all of my features and I came to conclusion that I was ugly. From having a dark skin and ugly features. Having hair on my face and all over my body while my sister was blessed with good genes to not have a single body and face hair.

She started to look beautiful in my mind and then it started going down for my mental health.

Cause I was nothing compared to her. And I can never be. This was burried in my head too thick to go away.

My sister topped in her classes and had amazing outgoing personality and I was not so great as her in academics and my personality is more awkward compared to hers.

She was everything I wanted to be at that period of my life. I hated myself and I cried during nights because it deeply affected me.

I stopped looking in mirrors and my relationship with my family started to cascade down.

Then my bestfriend noticed the change in my behavior and started asking me about it. I was so fed up so I cried and told her everything.

She was shocked at my confession and she helped me to have my self esteem back.

She started admiring me out loud that I was pretty no matter how my skin tone looks like and I was the smartest girl she was ever friends. She started to praise me after that almost everd6ay about anything little to big things that mattered to me.

At first I had always scoofed at her pathetic praises then few months later it stared to make a difference to me.

She aslo used to send videos about self esteem and confidence to me.

And after watching these videos. I started saying, "I am enough." To myself regularly till the day I truly believed that.

It took years for me to believe in myself and it's not that I think I'm the prettiest girl but I think I'm enough even tho I'm a loser. It doesn't matter anymore to me.

Sharing your problems with others do make a huge effect to your mental health. So do share whatever is troubling your mind. Maybe someone can help you like my bestfriend helped me.

All my point is from this that don't believe in what others say to you cause Every Freaking One is Beautiful.

Racism is trash. The people who are racists belongs to streets.

Be yourself you matter before them.

XXX

My hands literally were shaking hard as I wrote this.

I'm going to edit few points later while submitting this assignment. Just giving head up!

Love y'all
(Whoever's reading this. I doubt anyone will read this.) :-P