Special

Skipping

"Where were you for so long?" asked Stephanie's mother. 
Stephanie couldn't feel anything in her voice. It was blank. Before she thought there was something, concern, sadness, but now, nothing.
"Stephanie!" 
She snapped out of her thoughts.
"I just hold on in the library."
"Okay. Dinner is almost ready."

Stephanie was watching members of her family closely. They were nothing like Jonathan. There were no sparks in their eyes, no happiness in their voices. Nothing. The only thing that brought her in the mood was colors. Lots of colors all around her house. She couldn't believe that she never noticed them. 
Her mom, Rebecca, had black hair and green eyes. Her clothes were one-colored, still grey. Her dad, Jeffery, had brown eyes and brown hair. His eyes looked like chocolate and Alan was the opposite of them. He had blond hair, like liquid gold. His eyes were blue with two green spots on the right. They all looked much prettier full of colors. 

Alan went into Stephanie's room. 
"How are you?"
"Fine."
"Define fine."
"I'm pleased with this day," said Stephanie flatly.
Only now, she saw how empty their phrases are. "Pleased with the day," it sounds boring and formal, not the way she wants to talk with her family, or anyone.
"You let that feeling thing go?"
Stephanie knew she has to lie. 
"Yes."
"Okay."
He left the room with the doors open. 
"Alan?"
"Yeah?"
She didn't know why did she even call for him.
"Do you love me?"
"Specify the term."
"I can't."
"Then I can't answer."
"Okay. Good night."
"Good night, Steph."

Stephanie skipped the pill again that day. She didn't want to let the pill ruin her view on this world. 
From the doorway, Stephanie saw Logan walking towards her. His face empty as always. Stephanie could see how Logan really looked like. He had brown hair, dark green eyes and his bag was blue. He looked much younger now and he was much more attractive. 

"Where were you yesterday?" he asked flatly as always. Only now, Stephanie could feel that flatness and emptiness. She remembered darkness in the eyes of corpses in a war.
"I don't have to share that information," she tried to say that flat as he.
"I agree."
"Is that your new book?"
"Yes. It's called The fete. Every information someone should know before picking their fate."
"It looks nice."
"Nice?"
"I mean, pictures look convincing."
"Yes. The book is full of already known information."
"It's hard to find an unknown book when you know them all."
"Yes, it is indeed." 
I bet he didn't read the big, dusty book that she did. If only she could show him everything she saw. But she can't. It's her turn to keep that secret from everyone, even if she doesn't think she can't do it. 

Staring from the classroom is way more interesting now when she can see all the colors. It's like she sees everything for the first time. Yellowish rays of the sun throw light on everything outside. The river, now blueish with white foam, looks fully now. That was missing, the colors. Trees were now green with pink-white flowers on it. Paths were brown-yellow with white rocks on it. The best part, people. They were wearing blue, green, orange, and pink. Everything looked happier now. She still couldn't quite understand why would someone throw this beauty. Then she remembered crying, depression, and sadness. But still... No one has the right to do something like that. 

"Miss Stephanie!"
"Yes?"
"Can you give us an answer to the second question?"
"Of course. X is 20."
"And how can you be so sure about that?"
"I already solved the equation, just like 5 others."
"That still isn't the excuse not to pay attention to my class." 
"It won't happen again."
"Okay. Now let's get back to..."
Stephanie was all in her thoughts again. Her problem of choosing wasn't solved. 

After 3 days of skipping her pills, Stephanie could finally see the red color. The first thing she saw red was her hair in the mirror. She was red-haired, her lips were red too and her t-shirt wasn't gray anymore. She felt full now. Like that was the last piece to her, now solved, puzzle. 
When she went downstairs, she saw her mom, also red-haired. She looked younger and prettier than ever. 

That Saturday, Stephanie went to see Jonathan again. 
"Stephanie. You're back again!" he said that with a voice full of joy and happiness.
"Yeah! I just wanted to talk to someone who doesn't use terms like "Specify that" or "I don't have to share that" or "It's forbidden to talk about that".
"I know it's hard. The same thing was with me and all of the others. You will adjust after some time, just like we did."
"When did you discover that you can feel things?"
"I was 20 when that happened, just as my sister. We could both feel and see colors. It happened to you fast. Some of us could see only at 30."
"Where's your sister now?"
"She's dead. She couldn't hide it and they killed her trying to go over the board." His eyes were full of sadness and darkness. 
"I'm sorry because of your sister."
"Specify the term please."
Stephanie smiled along with him. 
"Shut up. I heard enough of that this week."
"It's like they are robots."
"Yeah. It is."
"So, did all of this helped with the fete?"
"Not actually. I still don't know which way to go."
"You'll find your way. If not today, definitely tomorrow."
"Yeah, I guess you're right. It just kills me that I'll have to spend all my life pretending and trying to hide my true self."
"I know. It will be hard, believe me."
"I don't doubt that. I actually came to thank you in case I choose something far from here."
"You're choosing the brave, don't you?"
"I'm not sure yet, but it's a possibility. Anyway, thanks for showing me... literally everything. I'm really glad I met you."
"I'm glad I met you too. This was interesting. We should repeat it."
"I'm sure there will be more of us."
"I hope so."
He spread his hands wide. 
"Come on," he said with a pinch of sadness in his voice.
They hugged. Stephanie was happy again. Forgetting that tomorrow is the most important day of her life.