Stranger Thinks

Expectations

‍‍‍‍My nails dig into my palm's flesh as my knuckles go white. My brain commands my fists to stay in place as they threaten to connect bleeding jaws. My breaths are short and unsteady and my eyes stay focused on the judgmental member of the "homo sapiens" club. 

Nothing seems to fit your definition of perfect, nothing seems to be convincing. As I climb higher on the ladder of improvement, you keep climbing on the ladder of expectations. As I climb up the ladder of patience, you keep SLIPPING down the same ladder knowingly.

When I learnt how to make tea, you reminded me that I cannot make lattes, then when I learnt how to make lattes, you pressed me to learn baking, and when I finally learnt how to bake a batch of cookies, you threw them away saying they were as raw as me, as disgusting as they could ever be.

My rage takes control at this point and my emotional barriers start to crack open crevice by crevice!
And when I confront you, I am quietened down, being told that you want me to improve and that is all. 

No, I can not take it anymore. Your expectations are slicing my confidence into bits that can drift away with all the water in drains. All the remarks and mockery that split my heart every second of the day is sugar coated and shaped into "constructive criticism" by you. All of it because I cannot reach the image of YOUR perfect individual, all of it because I can't seem to find a way to make YOU happy even though you are my lifeline. 

You fool, don't you see you are breaking me? Don't you see that I obviously love you so much more than you do because I am the one who is EXPECTED to stand tall on all of your EXPECTATIONS? 

All I can say is that expectations can never be the "line segment"...it always tends to be the "line" which can go on forever if you don't draw upon it. I know how and when to draw the line so don't you dare expect me to lose myself so much that I am transparent and invisible to you. I love you but I love myself more. Therefore, my expectations will be the only expectations that will be fulfilled today. Got it?

A/N : Okie...got a tad bit carried away😅