𝐀𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐨 - 𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐧𝐟𝐢𝐜

Chapter 27: Alone

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Pain. Although we feel it we do nothing to stop it. We feel the need to do something sometimes, even if we didn't do anything, we still feel guilty. We feel like we're the main cause of problems, even if we're not. Pain is hard to dissolve and fix. It's like trying to mix water and oil, they don't mix well. It's the same with trying to fix a problem. Sometimes it gets fixed. Sometimes it doesn't. But doing nothing about it, speaks volumes.

I grabbed my notebook and a pen. I sighed as I opened to the next page.

"I'm in my bed. And your not here. All I want is nothing more. To  hear you knocking at my door. Cause if I could see your face once more, I could die of happiness I'm sure. When you said your last goodbye. I died I little bit inside. I layed in tears in bed all night. But if you loved me, why'd you leave me?"

I couldn't write more because I felt the tears coming. I hated this. The feeling of weakness. I felt so helpless. And it's dumb because he probably feels nothing. While I'm feeling everything. It's not fair. That I'm here and he's there. Doing god knows what. I layed comfortably in bed as I closed my eyes and reminisced the moments Steve and I spent together. I didn't want to talk to anyone at all. I sniffed softly as more memories rushed in.

My brain couldn't comprehend how things changed from one moment to another. There was a knock at my door. "Come in." I softly said. Leo walked in through the door.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come to dinner last night. Momma and pops told me what happened. I wish I was there to defend you. Shit Elena. I'd do anything for you, you know. It pains me to see you in pain like this. It makes me feel horrible. You're my sister, I'm supposed to protect you from anyone and anything and I didn't do that-."

"Leo. Stop. You don't have to feel bad about this. It's my battle and I need to fight it." I said.

He looked at me.

" I'm sorry. What's going on?" He asked.

"So momma didn't tell you that part." I said as I sighed.

Mer walked in. "Steve broke up with her. Thought she was breaking up with him when she told him to leave and well. " She said. I sighed.

"That son of a-."

"Don't even finish that sentence Leo." I dared.

"And you're still defending him Elena!?-."

"I love him okay?! You do not get to judge me after you went through the same shit Leonardo." I snapped, standing up and heading to the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and slid down the wall and cried. Bringing my legs up to my chest.

"I'll go check on her." I heard Meredith say. I heard footsteps leaving the room, I'm guessing Leo left.

"El, open the door. It's me." I reached my hand up and unlocked the door. Moving away as Meredith slowly opened the door. She kneeled down to my level and hugged me. Rubbing my back in circles. I cried but didn't make any noise. Anymore. I was numb from crying too much.

"Where are you going?" I asked as I pulled away from the hug. Earlier I noticed Meredith was dressed up.

"Darrel has the day off and the whole gang is going out for lunch. Sodapop invited me." She said. I sighed.

"Too soon?" Meredith asked.

I took a deep breath.

"Too soon."

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Over the course of a couple of days, I worked myself into eating more, and getting out of my room. I finally made it to a point where I could comfortably leave the house. But that can't deny the fact that I still feel pain inside. I still need to find a way to make it up to him. Apologize for what I said. Maybe what I said was not the problem. It was how I said it. Although I can walk out, I'm not in the mood to. It was in the afternoon on a Saturday, when Meredith walked into the house and looked at me. "Come on. Let's get you dressed to go out" she said.

I looked at her. "Where are we going?" I asked clueless.

"Soda is taking us out to dance." She said.

"I'll stay here I don't want to interrupt or get in your way." I said.

"Elena, it was Soda's idea to do this. He wants to take you out. Have some fun." She said. I slightly smiled and nodded my head.

"Fine I'll go." I chuckled.

Mer cheered and dragged me to my room.

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We walked into the club. Music thundered through the whole building. We took a seat at a table and ordered some drinks. "Meredith told me what happened Elena, are you okay?" He asked.
I nodded.

"It's been rough but I'm okay." I said.

We got our drinks.

"Steve hasn't been by the house in all this time. I tried seeing him but his mom said he wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. I figured you might want to come by the house and have breakfast with us. I doubt Steve will come." Soda said.

I smiled. "I'd like too." I said.

"Jailhouse Rock" by Elvis began playing. "Come on, let's dance." Meredith smiled.

Soda and Meredith stood up. I sat there. I didn't want to interrupt Mer and soda. But soda looked back and saw me sitting. He offered me his hand. "Come on. Let's dance." He smiled. I smiled softly and stood up. We made our way to the dance floor and began dancing. Sodapop balanced between both Meredith and I. I was impressed by the fact that he could dance with two people with such radiating energy. I chuckled as he grabbed my hand and spun me around. Immediately doing the same with Meredith soon after.

This was really fun. And I was thankful to have people like Meredith and Sodapop to make me feel less lonely. Although it felt wrong. To be here and not with Steve.