She Is Love (Motough)

Chapter Seven- Breakfast at Mark's

Bethany~

I wake up in the middle of the night.

It wasn't because of a nightmare, or anything. I actually don't know why that happened.

When my eyes opened, I was warm. And not because of the stupid onesie, but because someone had an arm wrapped around my shoulders, welcoming my head to lay against their well-built chest.

That someone just had to be Derek.

I soundlessly get up from his arms, despite that part of my head protesting.

I tiptoe around the people laying on the floor, cringing whenever I get too close to their bodies.

I make my way into the kitchen, and sit down on the chair near the counter.

There's only one thought on my head as I think to myself.

Why?

Why am I reacting like this around Derek?

Why is it that I'm like a magnet to him? I always seem to gravitate towards him.

This has never happened to me before. When it comes to guys, I never react like this.

Four days ago, I only blushed when I was embarrassed, a bit drunk, or laughed too hard. Now, I blush whenever he looks at me.

Whenever he touches me, I immediately feel too hot.

Whenever he smiles at me, my legs turn into jell-o.

It bothers me how affected I am by him.

It bothers me because I know for a fact that he doesn't feel the same way. Even though I've never known how a guy reacts around a girl he likes, I know for a fact that he doesn't like me in the way that I like him.

He's a man. He's had many relationships. He has been paired with plenty of beautiful women- not girls like me. What makes me so different, besides the fact that I'm younger?

It scares me.

What if when I involuntarily flirt with him, he feels disgusted? He's playful because that's just his personality, so he probably thinks that I'm joking around, too.

I quietly grab myself a cup of water.

I've had relationships before, too. Only two, but they were what I considered to be serious.

I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. I thought we were in love.

We split after a year, knowing that we were drifting apart.

My second relationship ended the same way. I was getting bored, as bad as that sounds.

Looking back now, I was never as happy as I am now.

That's what scares me.

After four days, I already feel more alive with Derek than I have ever felt with any of my past relationships.

Maybe it's the thought of being close to an older man?

No, it's not. I know it's not.

It's just him. It's just Derek.

This crush of mine has to end, because I know that that's all it ever will be- a crush.

I'm not going to make any promises to myself of keeping my distance from him. I know that it will be impossible. I just don't know what to do.

I sigh heavily and drink the rest of my water.

I have to be around Derek for three months, so I might as well enjoy it.