I Have A Secret

Chapter 5: The Dream

JOE'S POV

I fell to the ground in my bedroom and sobbed.

"Caspar doesn't love me, he doesn't love me anymore" I repeated over and over.

I wanted him to love me, I wanted him to be mine. How could he kiss me like that and the realize he doesn't actually love me. Was I an experiment? Did he want to see if he was gay and realized I would be the perfect person to try it on? All these questions hovered in my mind. None of them I could answer.

I sat there for a long time before drifting off into a long horrible sleep.

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Caspar's kiss was all I dreamed about, over and over him saying that he loved me, and then saying he didn't. The dream happened about twenty times, all the same. Exsept for the last one.

Caspar kissed me, said he loved me, ran to his room and told me he didn't love me, as always. But at the part where I'm supposed to run back into my room and have a meltdown, I instead broke down his door and tackled him. Laying on top of him I kissed him like he did to me before. He kissed back. I started pulling up his shirt while still kissing him and-

I sat up screaming. I don't know why I screamed, wasn't it a good dream? Maybe I was screaming because I knew that could never happen, or it scared me because it was different from the other times, but I screamed like a maniac.

Caspar ran in and immediatly wrapped his muscular arms around me, I thought he hated me and yet he still tried to comfort me. He was amazing.

"Shhh Joe, calm down, it's ok, I'm here for you" He whispered in my ear.

It worked and my breathing slowly went back to normal.

"What happened Joe, bad dream?"

I nodded. He was still hugging me, he was so sexy, I cursed myself for thinking that way right now.

"What was it about?" He asked.

I wanted to tell him everything, EVERYTHING. But I didn't have the courage, he didn't love me anyway.

"I-I don't remember" I lied.

"C'mon Joe, you can tell me"

"No, I can't" I said softly as a single tear trickled down my cheek.

"Well at least let me help you get back in bed, you must of fallen out when you were dreaming"

Only then did I realize I was still on the floor after crying over Caspar. The whole night came back into mind and I broke.

I sobbed and wailed, Caspar was probably really confused by now. But he picked me up bridal style and I buried my face into his chest. I thought he was going to put me back in bed and leave me there to cry, but he carried me into his room instead and plopped me down in his bed.

"W-what are y-you doing" I said between sobs.

"Go to sleep Joe" He said as he layed down on the floor beside me.

"Casp?"

"Yeah JoJo?"

"Can you sleep with me" I said, I heard his breath hitch, this probably wasn't the best time for this.

But he slowly got up, layed in the bed beside me and wrapped his arms around me. I was turned on.

"Goodnight JoJo" His breath tickled my neck.

"Goodnight Casp"