HELPLESS, HOPELESS, USELESS

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Kacchan stand over him with his sneer dancing on his lips. He laughs (laughs, laughs, doesn't stop laughing) with a spark of pain on his fingers, they brace out. Reaching out with his feet, he kicks, kicks, he kicks until Izuku feels something snap, until his hands are skinned and his vision blurs beyond vision.

He holds out his small (so small, so destructive) hands. Explosions fly around, burned to his shoulder, to his elbow. It flickers to his ribs; on his throat. A noose ties around him, he can't breathe. Pain burns him up, eating and eating until he is nothing but broken bones and imperfect skin.

"Don't ever think about talking to me, Deku. You're useless, a pathetic waste of space, stop breathing my air and take a swan dive off the roof."

Everything is under water. The words don't reach him. They're molding, growing older.

Cracks and bruises and chipped teeth, Izuki learns how to lie; he splits his mouth and makes his eyes look happy. He makes his lips open enough that he bares his teeth. Izuku is always learning, he's learning how to not feel, learning that things stop hurting after they're done enough times.

He learns not to trust teachers; they don't care, they don't help. Learns to keep everyone at arms length (so when they leave it doesn't hurt as much). Fumbling over the steps, he trips over not-right legs, ones with broken bones and torn skin, he trips, over and over, but he learns. Like a newborn deer with a wrangled neck, he's deformed, head down and nails bitten, eyes made of steel with a gleaming whisp, trailing tears lace down his cheeks.

Everything hurts, but he's dulled it down to expectation. He can't go back to yesterday and change, but he can learn from his mistakes.

_

Tomura unlocks the door with frustration engraved into his hands. He's careful to only put four fingers on the key, Izuku said he wouldn't be able to get another one. He doesn't have the money for it, Tomura knew. Tomura always knows. He knew what it was like to be trapped, even when you hold the key in your grasp. He twists the knob and twists his ratty sneakers to the floor with it.

"Izuku! You will not believe what Sensei said to me!"

There is an immediate response when he opens Izuku Midoriya's room. He knows the teen is up, his light is on. Fingers curl as he twists the doorknob.

"H-hey Tomura!"

"He said that it was all All Mights fault, can you believe that bullsh―" He pauses, it's not only Izuku in the room.

"Who're you?"

They stare at each other, honey brown and rustic red clashing and molding together with the help of dull green. Nerves tingle at Tomura's neck and he wants to scratch, scratch, scratch it away. (But Izuku said scratching was bad, and Izuku wouldn't lie to him about that. Right?)

"R-right! Y-y-you two haven't m-met! Tomura-kun, th-this is Uraraka-chan."

"Hey," Says Tomura, awkward and embarrassed at his intruding. His scuffs his bright red shoes on the ground. Izuku said they looked cool, and they were cheap; so they were his.

"'Sup. I'm Uraraka. Please, call me Uraraka and not Uraraka-chan. Midoriya's way to formal,"

He scoffs, but there is no bite in his tone. He rolls his eyes and rubs jus wrists. "I know. I tell him to calm the fuck down but he never does. Like right now, Izuku. Kid, breathe."

"Y-you're a k-kid, t-too, T-t-tomura!"

"Yeah, yeah. 'M still older than you, though." The red-eyed boy (not Kacchan, Izuku reminds himself) points out.

It's quiet. Then laughter breaks through the walls, Tomura cackles his iconic cackle― loud and boisterous and crackly, like static from a television or white noise ―Uraraka giggles into her fist even though it does nothing to muffle her snorting, and Izuku stares at them.

Confusion laces in his eyes and all he knows is the fact that they're laughing at him. (Laughing, laughing, laughing, why does everyone laugh at him? Is this some kind of joke, are they going to leave him like Kacchan―)

"What-what's s-s-so f-funny?"

"Man, Izuku, you're the best!" Tomura says.

"Yeah, Midoriya!" Uraraka-chan agrees.

Then they laugh again, and Izuku Midoriya can't help but join in too. Maybe they will leave him, one day, when the yellow wallpaper chips to a rotten brown and molds over to the color of his hair. That isn't today though. He smiles so hard his cheeks feel sickly and smothered. His burns ache again and his heart stings. He wants to cry, but Tomura hugs him and calls him too nervous.

"Yeah, one of my classmates― can't remember his name for the life of me, it's like Totoroni or somethin' ―but his quirk is super cool.. and hot! It's a dual quirk! He's cute too, not as cute as Tsu though! And definitely not as hot as Yaomomo. I mean, there's hot, and then there's.. damn."

Izuku is scrawling while she speaks, noting everything and anything relating to quirks, generally, in neat, small, traces of kanji. Tomura tries to read it but Izuku knows he needs glasses. There is damage around his eyes from before Sensei took him in. But Tomura said he was sorry and they bought flowers and buried Father and Mother and Grandma and Grandpa and Hana. Tomura says he regrets it, Izuku says that's all that matters.

"T- Tsu is the f-frog quirk, r-right?"

Uraraka-chan nods her head.

"So, anyway. Now that I'm done speaking, 's your turn Shigaraki." Uraraka-chan says.

"Call me Tomura. I don't have many friends, it's only Izuku and Kurogiri. Though I'm pretty sure Kurogiri is wrong in the head. Sensei probably did something to him." 

"Then you guys can call me Ochako if ya' like, you too Midoriya! Wait can I call you Izuku?"

"Y-yeah- sure." He fiddles with the loose strips at the end of his hoodie.

There's a pause, it trickles through the air. Nobody can breathe.

"Sensei said that it was All Mights fault everything bad happens! That's bullshit, even I know that!"

Uraraka- Ochako looks at him with a raised eyebrow. She tilts her head and narrows her eyes as much as she can with a raised eyebrow. "Does your Sensei hate All Might or something."

Izuku gives her a look that tells her that Sensei does, in fact, hate All Might.

"Oh, wow. That must suck. I mean, All Might is pretty chill, in the Unforseen Simulation Joint he gave some pretty good pointers 'n stuff."

"Yeah, I-I-I d-d-don't g-get why ei-either, All Might is r-really c-cool.." Mutters spill from his lips and he doesn't stop himself, dragging onward about how All Might is the best, but his moves still need improvement, to how Mom used to let him watch All Might video's― back when he was neighbors with Kacchan ―but that was when Dad still came home. Then they had to move, they don't have good WiFi here so he watches them with Natsuo during their break. Natsuo hates Endeavor which Izuku finds weird but then again Natsuo has burns on his forearms just like Izuku does on his elbow and―

"Midoriya! Calm the hell down. And who's Natsuo?"

Snapping out of his trance he looks at them with a scrunched up nose and what do they mea― oh. He said that all out loud.

"A-ah, s-s-so-sorr-sorry! N-natsuo i-is m-my c-c-classmate― upper-classman, w-we h-have a free period t-t-together."

"Can we meet this mysterious Natsuo?" Urara- Ochako grins cheekily and Izuku can feel his face warm and his fingers tug at his hair. Tomura pulls his hands away, instinctively.

"I- I'll ask h-him t-tomorrow." 

The conversation drifts on for hours after that.

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