Twisted Fairytales

Little Red and the Huntsman

Once upon a time, there was a strange girl living in our quaint little village near the forest. She would always wear the same red cloak out on her adventures, the one that lapped over her ankles and concealed her face from the rest of the world. I had always thought that she was rather special, but I don't think I really understood how special until I saw for myself this monster in modern day.

One fine morning, I saw this "riding hood" walking along with a flimsy picnic blanket, so I figured she was most likely on her way to her grandmother's house for the first time in a while, per her mother's request and strict warning. I know this forest very well, and I'll have you know that it is far less dangerous than people say. From watching the girl's route so many times before, I had concluded that she enjoyed taking the scenic route rather than the shortcut by the house of the "crazy stalker boy" that the other villagers have grown to fear so much. (I personally don't take offense to such commentary, but I find it funny that one could be so oblivious to my true nature.)

While she was distracted by some flowers along the brook, I made a break for the old cabin just beyond the molding bridge. There, her grandma Eunice was waiting for me, equipped with all of the items I had requested for my inevitable stakeout.

"You watching carefully over my little Red, boy?" she asked. She, too, had her suspicions, and she worried that one day, her granddaughter's odd tendencies would be the end of the poor old lady.

"Don't worry," I assured her. "She probably misses you very much and just wants to eat with you."

"Very well," she said, handing me the gear as well as the homemade apple pie she had promised me in exchange for my work. "This should help you, my good huntsman."

"I'll be careful." With that, I promptly went outside and made preparations for the worst. I had everything I could need- a camera, binoculars, a ghost hunting kit, you name it! It might have been a bit much in hindsight, but I truly didn't know what to expect. The kind granny went to put on her favorite nightgown, as well as her lucky sleeping cap for good measure.

A few minutes later, we heard a knock on the door.

Showtime.

Eunice jumped into bed and pulled the wool blankets over her eyes. "Who is it?" she called out.

"Your favorite granddaughter?"

"Oh yes, my dear! Do come in!"

When Red entered the cabin, she left her cloak to hang by the door. With my trusty axe at the ready, only then did I remember that I had never actually seen her like this before and was quite new to her natural beauty. I may have felt a bit jittery at the sight, but her grandmother, on the other hand, reeled back in a pure panic only I could pick up on.

"I know it's been a long time, sweetie, but my, you've changed!" The grandmother beckoned Red to the bed to take a closer look. "Aren't you growing up to be such a big girl?"

"Why, yes, of course." A low growl escaped the girl's mouth, and she almost immediately bit her tongue.

"Is everything alright?" Eunice inquired. "You sound unwell."

Wisps of golden brown hair stuck to Red's sweaty forehead and she looked... guilty, for whatever reason. "Well, you know, Grandma... allergy season is no joke." Red added a slight sneeze at the end to sound convincing, but since that superhero cape of hers was off, I could see right through her sweet facade.

"Well, what big ears you have now!" the grandmother replied. "No wonder you wear that silly cloak around all day!"

Now, I don't have pointy ears myself, but I know for a fact that ears in general are a touchy subject for practically anyone nowadays. Red just played along with Eunice's forward remark, reaching back to nervously itch at her neck. "All the better to hear you with, Grandma."

"And what big eyes you have! Just like your mother."

I know that I had told Eunice to stall and all that, but I couldn't help but agree with her there. Even from outside, I could see those flickering yellow eyes shining through like magic stars. In fact, I was so mesmerized that I almost didn't catch her smile. I actually had to blink a few times in order to confirm that I was actually seeing fangs.

"All the better to see you with, Grandma." Red placed the basket down on the bed beside her to bite her growing nails frantically- hungrily, even.

"But, Red! What big teeth you have!" Eunice looked out of her window- right at me. "Why, you could win over any good huntsman with that smile."

I suppose she was slightly accurate with that assumption as well. At least, until I saw the girl literally shapeshift into a wolf right before my eyes.

"All the better to eat you with, Grandma."

I had a hunch that sleeping caps didn't make for good protection against werewolves.

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