Close To Me | SaeRi

Chapter 1

CANCER FREE!!

Looking back, I never imagined that I will ever get terminally ill. Of course I get sick too, like getting colds and the flu but everybody gets that too. I was a healthy baby, at least that is what my Mom said.

Growing up, I was always playing outside like most kids my age do. There’s my parents scolding me for going home all wounded and bruised up. So never in my wildest dreams did I ever think of getting so ill and so close to dying.

A happy childhood, that is one thing I am proud of having. Everything seemed perfect, like nothing could ever go wrong with my life. It stayed that way, until that one day where I woke up due to a stabbing pain in the lower part of my stomach. It was unbearable, that I was told I eventually passed out just as I successfully got out of my room to ask my parents for help.

I woke up at the hospital the next day hearing the news that would change my life forever.

I was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

Dumbfounded, I couldn’t believe what I just heard. I refused to believe that I was sick. That I have cancer, of all things. I am only fourteen, I’m still so young.

Seeing my parents’ reaction broke my heart even more than hearing the news myself.

Mom broke down into loud sobs and Dad held her tight into his arms, trying hard not to cry himself. They were trying to stand firm when I know deep inside they were falling apart. I’m an only child and I know that if they ever lose me, it means they will lost everything.

There was too much tension in the air so intense it was making me even more uncomfortable. Then they turned to me, wanting to know how I reacted to the heartbreaking news. But my facial expression remained blank and stoic.

I was silent the whole time, everything still not sinking in my head. Shock was an understatement, because I was more than terrified. Every fiber of my being was screaming in fear and indenial.

I’ve lived in that fear for years, only that right now, it was too much. I stared at my doctor, silently praying to hear some good news and also mentally preparing myself for the worst. Today is the day that I will know whether all those years of treatment are helping me or not.

I was sweating bullets and Mom must have seen the silent panic in my eyes that she held my hands, giving me a sad but reassuring smile.

We heard a gentle cough that made us look at the doctor.

“Congratulations Yeri-ssi, based from your latest lab results, you are finally cancer-free! We have successfully eliminated all cancer cells that may develop into tiny tumors near your pancreas. After a few days of complete rest, then you can leave the hospital.” Dr. Choi said while flipping through his charts.

“Congratulations, Yeri-ah. You did it. Even when you are pretty stubborn in drinking you meds, I am so happy to hear that you are finally cured.” I look at Nurse Jung who is teary eyed as she said those words. I gave her a cheeky grin and she smiled back at me like she was used to seeing me acting like a naughty kid.

“I wouldn’t be here, if I didn’t have you forcing those awful meds to me Nurse Jung. I am very grateful to have you as my personal nurse. You’re the only one who can take my bratty attitude. Thank you for not giving up on me.” I teasingly said which earned a hearty laugh from her.

Wow. So it has been four years.

Four long years of the painstaking chemotherapy, the awful after effects, the sleepless nights and the endless battle with Nurse Jung to get me to take that foul-tasting medicine-- I did it! I survived! I started to jump up and down my hospital bed with glee. I’m just too happy and I can’t stop, until Unnie forced me to sit down while looking at me with worry.

“Hey! Hey! Why are you crying? This is supposed to be good news.” Irene unnie cooed.

Damn, was I crying? I touched my cheek and felt my my fingers get damp. The moment I realized I was, it was like sense has finally dawned on me. A new batch of tears started to fall from eyes, my vision blurry as I stare into my Unnie’s face. Memories of the past four years flashed before me like I was relieving a very painful memory-- which it was.

Suddenly I felt this overwhelming sense of pride and relief coursing through my body. “Unnie, I am cured. I-I can go back to school and we can travel again. I can’t believe I did it.” I couldn’t recognize my voice, as I continue to wipe my tears from falling.

“Yes, baby doll, you’re okay--you’re fine now. You can do whatever you want.” she said as she pulled me in a warm and tight embrace which I returned with equal fervor.

We were in that state when parents got back from fixing the paper works and settling my bill. Smiling wide, they both joined Unnie and I for a group hug.

This is my second life. I mustn’t waste it living in fear and regrets. Four years of being holed up in this hospital made me yearn to explore the world outside the four walls of my hospital room. I JUST HAVE TO GO AND EXPLORE. Just the thought of traveling alone is enough to make my excitement meter go wild.

With my new found determination, I broke the hug and told my parents my amazing plan.

“Mom and Dad, will you let me go traveling to South Korea alone?”