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(Lippa) Choices... Regrets...

Lin's pov
"Steven, I chose him, I love him"
"Steven"
"Steven"
"Steven"

That's all that could run through my head, she chose him, I'm not what I thought I was to her. I have to move on, I have no choice. She's giving me no choice.

I sat in the coffee shop feeling dull, with the same words running through my head. Out of nowhere a girl walked up to me and asked "Hi! Do you mind if I sit here, there's no place anywhere else..." she was cute, and there was an adorable dimple complimenting the smile she was offering me.

"Sure.... I'm Lin by the way" I said with a sad smile, "Thank you!" she said while sitting down.

"Oh, and my name is Vanessa!" her eyes sparkling as she looked at me.

Phillipa's pov
I chose Steven, but could I have been any stupider, how could I do that?!?!?!?

How could I choose Steven and not Lin, even after the first day of the choosing incident and I already regretted my decision.

Lin was my rock, my best friend, my everything, and I know I gave all that up when I chose Steven. He was... Well, he isn't bad he's just not Lin.

He tries to be perfect, and that makes me resent him more, and I don't have the heart to break it off with Steven so... I don't, and I'm not planning to.

I'm here stuck with Steven Pasquale, I have a way out but I don't leave. Not because I don't want to, because trust me I do, but it's because I can't cause another heartbreak.

I can't break Lin's heart and then Steven's, it's just not right. I will never be able to forget the look in Lin's eyes, the hurt, the look of rejection, and the tears, god the tears get me every time.

My nights had a routine now, get in bed, have emotionless sex for Stevens satisfaction, wait for Steven to sleep, and then I breakdown, cry about my mistakes and regrets.

Every night Steven will snake his arms around me, and spoon me, I always try to imagine Lin doing it. But it's impossible because the way Lin held me was so different, so gentle and soft. While Steven is more of a 'me' man, he did things more for himself than for me. So his cuddles were rough and tight, not sweet and caring.

It's been 3 years now, 3 hard and loveless years. I woke up and went to the washroom, with Steven still asleep I'm able to mask myself, make myself look like I love him unconditionally.

I stared at my reflection, the dried tears still visible from last night just like every morning, I washed them off, brushed my teeth, and then got in for a shower.

Like always I try and let the hot water wash away the pain, it never works but it's worth a try. I got out and dressed into a pair of black shorts and a black tank top, I don't know I just feel like today is a 'wear all black' day.

I slipped on some black socks and walked to the kitchen to start cooking breakfast for my husband. I started making some oatmeal cause we had pancakes yesterday, but he didn't seem so happy about it.

Steven walked out of the bedroom in nothing but sweatpants, he walled to me, kissed my forehead and proceeded to tell me about how much oatmeal sucks, well my oatmeal. I shrugged it off and plated (bowled?) the oatmeal and placed it in front of him.

He made a face with every bite, which did hurt me but I didn't say anything about it. I then just waited for Steven to leave for work so I could stalk Lin. No biggie, it's just something I do every now and then.

Steven walked into the bedroom to shower and dress up for work. Once he was done he walked out the bedroom and to the front door saying "Bye hon, see you at 7". I said a bye as well but I don't think he heard it cause the door was already closed.