Life has been kinda shit recently but also good. I amnot sure where it started but I feel like it ended a couple days before Benjamin Grandfather passed; for the brief time I knew him he was very quiet but still very kind.
Anyways there was a day that feels not so long ago where Benjamin was packing his things and leaving i was very upset by it and also really confused. But I really feel like I'm stuck in the moment of heart break and trusting him is hard. I pervious was an escort and I had also had a couple sugar daddys for a while every now and then. I say this like it was a long time it its causeit was from when I'd been ages 18-22. Im currently 22 I bring this up because he recently told me that he worries i see him as a sugar daddy but I see him as so much more than that. He is the reason I want to wake up in the day, there's nothing that's more soothing than holding him close to me. I love him with all my heart I'd also thought I'd be hopping people dating someone new every know and than just manily being single. His hair is a beautiful dusty blonde with a hint of gray behind his ears. What's really breath taking is his electric Strom closed eyes. They change so frequently you can get lost staring at them trying to decide a color.
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TIcci Toby X Ben Drowned
FanfictionI just need an outlet for the things in my life. I have alot of trauma. THIS IS A ROUGHT DRAFT JOURNAL I'm 22 in treatment and I really hate where I'm at in life.
