The pain I've been dealt (TodoBaku) (No longer on Hold)

Part 7: Mind at Night

So, this chapter will have angst. The song has some relation to the plot. I dont own the song tho. Hope you enjoy. ⚠️Self harm warning!⚠️ 

Bakugo's POV

I was laying in bed with the lights off in my dorm. So much happened today, I hadn't really been able to think about what I'd been feeling. But, now that it was late, and calm, all the feelings came flooding onto me.

I mean, I had been so useless and weak during the battle earlier. I had been totally powerless, I hated it. Heck, if it hadn't been for Todoroki I'm pretty sure everyone would've gotten hurt. My quirk is so destructive. Do I even deserve to be a hero?

I shook my head and got up, I needed to think straight, but not here. I got up and walked to the bathroom. I stood over the sink and looked into the mirror, I ran my hair through my hair. I looked disgusting, I was a mess. I had been since the fight in the morning. I shed a tear, but quickly wiped it away. I got so angry at my self. How could you be so stupid? So weak? So gross? So, disappointing?

My fist balled up, and my knuckles turned white. I punched the counter top. The sound resonated through the bathroom. I took a deep breath. My now, I was sobbing, no matter how much I tried to stop, the tears kept coming. Before I knew it, there was a piece of mirror cracking off, and falling. It pierced my wrist, and blood was gushing out slowly. But, it felt oddly satisfying. I deserved the pain. For being a disappointment. I looked at the piece of glass, through wet eyes, now stained with my blood. I took it to my wrist, and drew another line of red, and more blood came out. I know I shouldn't be doing this, but it's as my mother always said "pain is only temporary". I was still crying from the pain now. It hurt, it hurt so bad, but I deserved it, and it was only temporary.

I washed my wrist out. I should really do this more often, but not with this. I held up the piece of glass, I washed it out as well. I couldn't let anyone find out about this, they would try to stop me. I left the glass, now clean, on the counter top. I needed to make sure it seemed like it had just fallen. I walked back to my bed. I wiped the tears off my cheeks, and shakily exhaled. Tomorrow was the weekend, so I can ask someone to let me go to the store, to by another blade. And maybe some bandages.

This was good, it was ok. I was gonna be fine. I thought as I drifted to sleep.

Todoroki's POV

I sat in my bed, not being able to sleep. I had been Bakugo's walking partner all day. It was nice, getting closer to him. But something about what he had said bothered me.

He has called himself useless, and I didn't like it. He was an amazing hero, and even better person. He didn't show it, but by the way he acted around his friends, and when it came to hero work, I could tell he really cared. More than he wanted to show.

I'm going to become friends with him, and make sure he knows his worth. I had too, he needed to know. But, what would my friends think? Midoriya had never gotten along with his since their childhood. And Uraraka didn't seem to be very fond of him either. And Iida definitely didn't approve of him. But, I had too. He didn't seem to be too ok, and I need to find out why.

He was such a beautiful person, and he needed to know it.
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Sorry for the short chapter. I just needed support for the next one. See you guys next time!