The Happy Diary

We're fucked

*The apartment is in a state of total chaos. In the middle of this clustefuck, there's Andy, furiously running around and Ashley, trying to think about any form of a solution.*

Ashley: Okay, can you calm the fuck down?

Andy: *accidentally kicking the table* They are going to kill us, we have no jobs, no social life, no money-

Ashley: DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE TO BE REMINDED? Now sit your gay ass on the sofa, because we have to come up with a plan.

*Andy, despite the fact he's going insane, sits on the sofa and tries to concentrate.*

Ashley: Now... how are we going to convince our parents that we are the perfect children of Jesus?

Andy: We are not perfect, nor children of Jes-

Ashley: That was only metaphorical for fuck's sake!

Andy: Oh well.

*Ashley throws herself on the sofa next to Andy.*

Ashley: Where did you put the holy book of bullshit?

Andy: You mean...

Ashley: Yes. The bible.

Andy: Didn't we burn it before a few weeks in that one gay bar?

Ashley: Shit... okay where are the ashes-

Andy: Ashes will NOT convince our parents that we're lovely children of jesus. We're so screwed i'm yeeting myself into a trash can i swear-

Ashley: STOP PANICKING JESUS FUCK! You clean up the living room. They can't see all the rainbow stuff, they'll start being suspicious.

Andy: Should i lock it in my room?

Ashley: Probably... i'm going to buy some groceries and maybe a bible.

Andy: *already taking everything rainbow to his room* This is going to be a long night...

*A half an hour later, Ashley returns from the closest grocery store. The first thing she sees is Andy standing in the middle of their living room, looking like a coat hanger thanks to all the rainbow stuff he's hiding. The door is also missing.*

Andy: Do you realize we're just hiding what a pair of disappointments we are, because our parents still think we have a life and jobs?

Ashley: Yes, now get ready for... *takes something from a bag* your new suit. You're a manager.

Andy: ARE YOU KIDDING ME-

Ashley: You look after the future biggest band in the world, very talented dudes...

Andy: Ashley i literally have no degree-

Ashley: Uh... doesn't matter. By the way the band is mine. I am the manager of you and your boys. The other future disaster.

Andy: This can't work.

Ashley: It will.

Andy: *sigh* If you think so... now excuse me as i take this mess in my room so our parents still have hope in us.