Somebody pick up my pieces

4

FP had moved them over to the couch, trying to calm her down as best as he could. He kept an arm around her as she snuggled into his side, sobs and tears subsiding very slowly.

"You okay, Al?" He whispers.

"No." She sniffles, he sighs. "Who have you told?"

"Charles knows."

"Charles? That's what you two were talking about in the basement?" She lifts her head up off his chest.

"Yeah, I'm sorry Al. I wasn't planning on telling him but he just-"

"No, it's okay. I'm glad you had someone to talk to." She smiles weakly.

"Yeah, he's been great. Coming to doctors appointments with me, gotten me on every alternative he can find." He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Have you looked into it at all?"

"Yeah, we talked about it." He shrugs.

"I have so many connections, I can see what I can do. Jake Robins, over at the hospital, he knows everybody. I'll call him, I'll-"

"Al, I've been through it all, all that's left is for me to wait on this damn list." He cuts her off, not being able to bare hearing her trying to save him again.

She nods slowly and snuggles back into his side, taking in his scent. He kisses the top of her head, knowing he won't get moments like these with her after today, considering what he was about to go.

"We're in this together now." She embraces him tighter.

"I'm sorry, Al. No." He holds back his tears.

She lifts her head up slowly, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I can't do this with you with me." He shakes his head, unwrapping his arm from around her.

"What- what do you mean you can't do this with me?"

"I mean I've already put you through more than enough pain with all of my stupid mistakes."

"And that's behind us." She places a hand on his knee.

"I will be damned if I'm going to drag you through all the disappointment and the hurt of all of this. Look at the pity in your eyes." He tells her harshly.

"Look at my eyes." She whimpers, her blue orbs slowly filling with tears as they lock eyes. "That is not pity, it is love."

He looks away as she wipes a tear. "I'm sorry this is just how it has to be. I have made up my mind."

"You can't just make up your mind!"

"I do, alright? I do get to make up my mind, I know that might be shocking to you." He spits out, standing up from the couch.

"What in the hell is that suppose to mean?" She stands up from her seat too.

"You always make the decisions in our lives together. You married Hal, you-you couldn't tell me about Charles-"

"You know damn well why I had to do those things, FP." Her voice cracks.

"Al, this is my sickness, and I'm sorry but you're just going to have to accept this." He tells her, storming past her to his bedroom, slamming the door shut.

Alice took a few deep breathes, wondering why this was all happening. Why he was giving up so easily. She knew one this for sure, she wasn't going down without a fight.

-

Alice sat on the couch with a cup of her favourite tea as she waited for FP to cool down. It had been almost an hour now and he hadn't come out of his room.