HOST: Hello America and welcome to Fake It Till You Bake It;
Mutant Edition. The show where the only thing that
gets eaten on screen are the judges. Today's episode
theme is family. So let's meet our contestants.
(cut)
HOST: first up we have the father and son duo ERIK and
PIETRO. So tell us, what brings you here today?
ERIK: We're here to prove mutant superiority over humans.
PIETRO : ...in baking.
ERIK: (long and suspicious pause) yes.
HOST: (looks directly into camera)I'm so glad theres nothing
moral to unpack about a Jewish holocaust survivor gone
mutant supremacist this time around. That would've
been awkward.
(cut)
HOST: next we have brothers SCOTT and ALEX summers. You two
look so much alike and you have similar powers. Are
you twins?
SCOTT: no
HOST: So who's older?
SCOTT and ALEX: yes
HOST: my what thrilling and conclusive answers were getting
today. Moving on.
(cut)
HOST: Our final duo is mother and son, MYSTIQUE and KURT.
KURT: wait what...?
MYSTIQUE : (dramatic) I didn't mean for you to find out like
this. (Runs)
KURT: ????? (Looks into the camera having existential
crisis)
HOST: Well, would you look at the technical difficulties!
We'll be right back!
(cut to technical difficulties screen)
HOST: and we're back with a minor change in contestants.
Introducing mother daughter duo MYSTIQUE and ROGUE.
ROGUE: (looks to MYSTIQUE like "what the fuck?")
MYSTIQUE: you're adopted.
ROGUE: not anymore. (removes glove and touches her own face
and falls over)
MYSTIQUE: that only works when you touch other people.
ROGUE: sorry I can't hear you over how unconscious I am.
(Abrupt cut to technical difficulties screen)
(Camera returns)
HOST: so you ended adoption with MYSTIQUE??
ROGUE: WOLVERINE is my dad now.
WOLVERINE : (short af) from this point on I will only communicate
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Fake It Till You Bake It: Mutant Edition (X Men)
FanfictionThe "Nailed It" style cooking show where mutants who spent more time mastering their powers than learning how to cook, attempt to bake a cake.