Fake It Till You Bake It: Mutant Edition (X Men)

Fake It Till You Bake It(tm)

HOST: Hello America and welcome to Fake It Till You Bake It;

Mutant Edition. The show where the only thing that

gets eaten on screen are the judges. Today's episode

theme is family. So let's meet our contestants.

(cut)

HOST: first up we have the father and son duo ERIK and

PIETRO. So tell us, what brings you here today?

ERIK: We're here to prove mutant superiority over humans.

PIETRO : ...in baking.

ERIK: (long and suspicious pause) yes.

HOST: (looks directly into camera)I'm so glad theres nothing

moral to unpack about a Jewish holocaust survivor gone

mutant supremacist this time around. That would've

been awkward.

(cut)

HOST: next we have brothers SCOTT and ALEX summers. You two

look so much alike and you have similar powers. Are

you twins?

SCOTT: no

HOST: So who's older?

SCOTT and ALEX: yes

HOST: my what thrilling and conclusive answers were getting

today. Moving on.

(cut)

HOST: Our final duo is mother and son, MYSTIQUE and KURT.

KURT: wait what...?

MYSTIQUE : (dramatic) I didn't mean for you to find out like

this. (Runs)

KURT: ????? (Looks into the camera having existential

crisis)

HOST: Well, would you look at the technical difficulties!

We'll be right back!

(cut to technical difficulties screen)

HOST: and we're back with a minor change in contestants.

Introducing mother daughter duo MYSTIQUE and ROGUE.

ROGUE: (looks to MYSTIQUE like "what the fuck?")

MYSTIQUE: you're adopted.

ROGUE: not anymore. (removes glove and touches her own face

and falls over)

MYSTIQUE: that only works when you touch other people.

ROGUE: sorry I can't hear you over how unconscious I am.

(Abrupt cut to technical difficulties screen)

(Camera returns)

HOST: so you ended adoption with MYSTIQUE??

ROGUE: WOLVERINE is my dad now.

WOLVERINE : (short af) from this point on I will only communicate