Forever -- Drarry - - On Hold

9 - Suspisions

Draco
Harry tiptoed in at around 7am, and I stood up nervously. We ended up just facing each other while shifting from foot to foot, not daring to look at each other - too embarrassed to look at each other.

"Hi..." I whisper. I sense him lifting his head to look at me before bowing his head again.

"Hey..."

The awkwardness could be cut down with a knife, neither of us really knowing what to say or do. We both know that we'd never had a fight that serious before, and neither of us knew how we should react to it. How we should try to fix it. I know Pansy would say that Harry should apologise first, but I knew I was just as much to blame as Harry, if not more. I was the one who kept secrets as important as I did from him - it was natural that he reacted the way he did.

"I'm sorry..." I say. I can feel my anxiety rising in my chest, quickening my heart beat and making me feel nauseous. I don't look at him. What if he refuses my apology? What if we argue again? What if we actually split up... Despite everything, I know I can't live without Harry. I can't imagine my life without him.

"Draco... Draco look at me." Harry's walked over to me, and took my hands in his. "Draco, you have absolutely nothing to apologise for. Sure, you maybe shouldn't have kept secrets like that, but it's not your fault. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did and I should have listened to you. I definitely shouldn't have smashed the apartment... But anyway, it's not your fault. It's my fault. 100%."

Tears prick my eyes. How could he still love me like this after what I'd done?! How I disappeared for hours after the argument when I knew he got serious anxiety and was extremely over-protective over me?! How...?!

Harry seemed to know exactly what I was thinking after he tilted my head up to look at him and wiped away my tears with his thumb.

"Draco, I promise you... This is not, I repeat, not your fault. Okay?" I wasn't happy. It felt unfair that Harry should take all the blame, and I knew I should take some responsibility for the argument, but no matter how much I tried to protest he wouldn't hear it - always insisting that it was his fault, not mine. It didn't feel right, but I didn't want to risk another argument so I eventually just agreed.

~~~

That night we were cuddled up together on the sofa watching Finding Dory, but I wasn't really paying attention. Back in the Home, Disney movies had been a big part of life there as there were so many younger children. I would normally hide up in my room, but after several days of looking at the same 4 walls I felt suicidal so I'd creep downstairs to a corner and watch whichever Disney film was on. I'd seen Finding Dory so many times that I wasn't really paying attention, and instead my thoughts trailed back to this morning.

I hadn't realised at the time, but I suddenly realised how unlike Harry it was to just take all the responsibility. Harry was very prideful...and it wasn't like him to take full responsibility. I didn't doubt how sorry Harry was, but it wasn't like him to admit full responsibility. In fact the more I thought about it, the more confused I became. Harry was too prideful to admit full responsibility, even if it wasn't his full responsibility, but he'd admit it too himself and show his apology through gestures rather than saying it as bluntly and straightforward as he did. It was weird, but it wasn't like I could do anything. Maybe he just felt really guilty for some reason. In the end, I shook it off and tried to watch the film anyway.

~~~

The next morning Harry and I were walking across campus to the library. We'd done it so many times before, but this time it was different. Normally Harry would spend every second complaining about not wanting to study and wanting to spend time with me instead, but today an awkward silence settled between us. Maybe he just thought it was too soon after an argument to be complaining, but it was so unlike him. Besides, it was hardly a dig at me. He was wanting to spend time with me. We carried on walking when I heard someone call out my name. Harry had only just gone round the corner, but I turned even so seeing a girl running towards us with her fiery red hair bouncing behind her.

"Draco! Draco, you go here too?" she smiled as she came to a stop in front of me, looking slightly out of breath.

"Ginny?!" I smiled back, surprised but happy to see her. Back in Hogsmeade (the town where the first book is set) she'd been friendly to him and was considered a sort-of friend to the Slytherins.

"Hi! Wow, I can't believe you go here to!"

"Hehe, yeah. So did you just enroll?"

"Yep, I few weeks ago."

"Dray, what's taking you so...long..."Harry trailed off as he noticed Ginny. "Ginny what are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to Draco. I haven't seen him since he moved to Scotland."

I glanced between them. It was weird, they'd gotten along back in Hogsmeade. She was his best friend's sister. But then again, maybe they'd fallen out some point after I'd left.

"So, you two are both friends or something again?" she asked, looking slightly uncomfortable but covered it well.

"Erm, yeah. Yeah, we're actually back together. Have been since Christmas."
I replied. It was awkward, and I wondered if I'd screwed up. A wave of emotions appeared on Ginny's face - shock, hurt, and anger. All while looking at Harry. She flashed a smile but it seemed forced.

"Wow that's amazing!" she grinned, but she looked furious at Harry while he seemed to be extremely interested in the ground.

"Yeah, well, Dray, we should get to the library. See you around, Ginny." Harry quickly said and took my hand and began to lead me away.

"Ok, well, see you around, Ginny! It was nice seeing you."

"You too, Draco!" as she turned away she shot one last glare at Harry before Harry dragged me out around I corner. As we were walking towards the library I could only think one thing. What the hell was going on?!