𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙞𝙩𝙖𝙣 ; 𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙩𝙨

𝙡𝙚𝙫𝙞; 𝙩𝙚𝙖 𝙩𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙖𝙣𝙮

Since the mission outside of the walls, she had found it increasingly harder to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, her head was filled with the shrieks of her comrades, the grins of those monsters, the thuds of the female titan making it's way through the woods in pursuit of the shifter boy.

It wasn't that she found the mission futile. But she questioned whether it was worth so many deaths. A lot of good people, a lot of brave people lost their lives that day. And many more are left wondering the same as her. A lot of families missing a seat at a table. 

Something about seeing your friends die makes you second guess your conviction. Who would have thought?

She grew tired of the constant tossing and turning, it was infuriating and sure to was keep her bunk mates at this point. With a defeated sigh, she pushed the thin covers off of her body and decided upon a walk, or maybe some tea to clear her mind. The idea of a warm drink replacing the feeling of human warmth bought a pathetic chuckle out of the woman.

At least she still had a sense of humour.

The walls of the corridors were dimly lit, but the candles lead her to the mess hall sure enough. As she stood at the end of the hall, she noticed the door was already left ajar, warm light splaying out of the large room. She wondered who else was kept awake with worry, too.

As she reached the door, her eyes set upon a raven head of hair, slightly ruffled as if it had been tossed and turned on as hers had. It took her a moment to process in her sleep deprived state, but she soon realised it was Corporal Levi.

That makes a lot of sense. He had lost his whole squad. The elite squad, no less.

Her hand went to knock against the large wooden door, not wanting to intrude further on what seemed to be a private moment for her superior. His steel grey eyes shot to the direction of the sound, a dull look on his tired face.

"My apologies, Corporal." She turned to leave as she registered the sour mood in the air. 

"Cadet! You might stay." He spoke finally. She let out a small sigh as she made her way into the room. " You are aware we'll be travelling to the capital tomorrow. You would do well to sleep." Perhaps it was supposed to be a lecture, but it felt more like he was curious if anything.

The woman made her way over to the table he sat at, pulling a chair out and cringing at the shrill noise it made against the stone floor. She sat down, as the man poured the contents of the tea pot into another cup, handing it to her silently.

"Thank you, sir." She flashed a small smile as she enveloped the warm cup in her own hands. She looked across the table at him, a perplexed expression as she noticed the way he held his own cup. She shook her head slightly as she bought the cup to her own lips, surely tasting the best cup of tea she had ever had.

"So, why are you up at this time, cadet?" He glanced over at her, the bags under his eyes now much more profound than usual. She wondered if he had cried, but he didn't seem the type to wallow, usually.

"I fear, I've been made a prisoner of my own mind. " she let out a wry chuckle,as she stared down at the dark liquid in her cup, swashing it around in her cup slightly. "I am left with many questions after the last mission, is all. "

"As am I."

"Forgive me if I step out of line, sir. But might I ask you something?" She felt a small bundle of something unrecognisable start in her stomach. She was never one to act out, never one to question an order, never one to wonder beyond what happened today.

He grunted in response, taking another swig of his tea. She looked up to meet the mans eyes again, a glint of fear in her own as she spoke.

" What do you think all of this means? If there are more shifters like the female and Jaeger, then what have we been fighting this whole time?"

"That's a good question, cadet." He took a moment to ponder a response, which was unusual for him. He seemed cool and collected the majority of the time, like he knew what he was going to say before anyone else. Like he knew what was going to happen next. It was a quality she respected, but feared at the same time.

"To tell you the truth, I don't know."

She tugged her lip between her teeth at that. Even the best of us, even humanity's strongest didn't know what the next step was. And that frightened her beyond belief. Yet a small part was relieved that she wasn't the only one in this boat. She wasn't the only one kept up at night with what ifs.

"Of course, sir. Sorry for such a loaded question." Her finger traced the rim of the cup slowly, in an attempt to focus on something other than the gloomy thoughts that racked her brain.

"No. Don't apologise for that. Never apologise for being human, Cadet." His voice was wavering slightly. Maybe she was just tired and delirious, but she could have sworn it cracked as if he was holding back some kind of repressed emotion. Anger? Grief? She couldn't tell, he was usually unreadable.

"It seems I've found new company for restless nights and late night tea. " A barely audible sigh left him, and as she glanced into his eyes they seemed a shade softer now. "And talks of impending doom, of course."

A small flicker of a grin twisted at her cheeks now, as she nodded and poured another cup for the two of them. The silence seemed a lot more comfortable with a partner, the two admitted to themselves.