A Lot Can Happen In A Year // parkner

2

Chapter 2

Harley opens up the notebook and rereads what happened at the fight that he received the news that he'd be going to New York.

He sits on the seat, staring through the window and just observing the outside. He knows that this isn't the best idea he's had. But the pain of making his family suffer was way greater than staying inside his comfort zone. And he knew he would be going after days of internal conflict.

Scholarship to Midtown High.

It almost seems unreal. He's going to a STEM school, yet he knows he can't get any friends. Why would he get them? They'll just find out about their uncertainty of their financial status and call the CPS on possible child neglect from their father and mother.

He sighs as he watches the plane take off. The cement ground slowly vanishes from view and replaces itself with the bird's eye view of the whole city, then the whole country, then you can't see it at all. His foot tapping to the beat of whatever music he is listening to.

His brain is going five hundred miles per hour it seems as his thoughts seem to be restless. His chest constricted and his airways felt like they were closing. His heart burns and he feels like he is dying. The breaths catch themself in his throat, causing him to feel like he isn't breathing. The passenger looks to him with a sort of concern on their face before turning a blind eye.

Harley lifts his head and instantly, the breathing stables but his heart is still constricted. He feels like leaving his family back in Tennessee is betraying them. They all deserve better, maybe not his pa, but who knows? He needs to be with them, right now, just to make sure their okay and happy and healthy.

Does Abby know how to look after a drunk mom? Is Abby okay with his drunk mom? Is Abby bullied for being better at the arts then at science? Do they think he's abandoning them? Do they think this is a scheme to just leave?

His thoughts engulfed his mind for the rest of the one hour of the plane ride. He feels like he's free but he feels trapped. He can't leave the thing that made him feel complete. He hates Tennessee, doesn't like it would a hundred percent move away, but with his family. He can't leave the family. He can't leave them, not after his pa left without a word to his mom. He can't.

But he has. He's watching the plane descend. He's here. In New York City. It's strange. No more cows, or big fields and meadows, no more shit smelling grass or neighbours' cows trespassing. At least for a year. Only a year. Twelve months. Three hundred and sixty five days on average.

Maybe he is just complaining, but what if, just what if they forget he exists? What if they forget him while he's away or what if they think he forgot them? The questions that never stop every time he leaves the house always reappear. The reason why he's always afraid to leave them behind still flutters in his mind, the face of his drunk pa and the smile on pa's face when he left the house forever. The face is still flourishing like it's new. And it hurts to know that the face of him will always haunt Harley. Yet as everyone gets ready to leave, the thoughts just run faster.

The bustling streets of a jam-packed city, cars lining up one after the over as the traffic goes on. Harley really hasn't called an Uber before, he hasn't left his house that far before.

His warm eyes instantly vanish once he is away from home itself, inside the house at least, and he could tell that the driver didn't like the way he looks so cold and distant.

"Ten dollars fifty cents. That's the price. For um, the drive," the driver requests extremely awkwardly, almost as if he is scared or anxious.

"Right," Harley coldly replies whilst shoving ten dollars and fifty cents into the driver's hands. "Thanks for driving me."

He opens the car door, looking back at the driver who was looking at him weirdly. Not quite strange because of his confident, prideful and cold exterior. It was pleasing to see. To see that his plan and everything has worked for once. He is glad that the man looks intimidated. It's a good feeling to know that whatever you make or do works.

Plucking his phone out of his pocket, he calls Abby with a small smirk on his face, instantly planning to call her as much as he can. The phone rings for a few seconds before he can hear Abby pick up.

"Hey Harles, are you in New York now?" She asks with a slight hint of curiosity lurking in her tone, wondering what outside the dreadful town of Rose Hill was like.

"Yeah I am. Are you okay?"

"Mhm, I'm okay, tell me about New York," she demanded with a cheerful tone filled with blissful ignorance about what he was truly doing in New York, how many injuries he's going to get, how many injuries he's going to cause and how many enemies he's going to make. Yet, he doesn't mention that, and only mentions how the things are as if he didn't change his whole personality just to be in public. He hates it. Lying to Abby. But it is what's meant to be done.

Abby is sure that Harley won't have been planning to leave them forever with this "business trip" to New York, but a sort of fear and dread is still swirling around her stomach. She can't remember the reason why she's scared of abandonment, but she is and every time she asks Harley he just says that it's a you thing and that it's because you just fear it. She knows there is a bigger reason behind it, but she couldn't place it on one reason. It is still strange to her that her mom is drunk all the time and that pa is never there. It is strange, but she never presses onto the topic.

Harley, though, is sure that Abby thinks he's abandoning her. He's scared of the fact that he's leaving his family behind in Tennessee, but they can't learn about what's happening behind the scenes of his fluctuating wage or salary, yet they don't complain because it's always enough. The money he brings back is also good enough for his mom to steal to buy alcohol, and the convenience stores are too greedy to call the police on the obvious alcohol addiction. It's good enough to buy Abby her art supplies and it's good enough to feed them enough.

He can't tell anyone that he feels unworthy of eating that food he puts into the plates. He always feels like he needs to do more to secure the happiness of his family. He knows they're not happy, but he just wants them to be and without the money he brings home, the slight amount of happiness that flies around the house would be lowered to absolutely zero happiness flying around the house. Maybe, it is irresponsible to skip school to get some extra money when he loses or when the host only pays a few cents, but it feels like it will make his family happy, so he does it.

He's too blind to see that his actions don't change the happiness in the family, it only changes their financial status. He's too blind to see that there's a darkness still lurking in the living room, like his pa is still there, standing strongly in the living room. Like his pa is still shouting so loudly that neighbours were concerned but not concerned enough. Like his pa is still there standing over the young Harley, as he tells Harley that he doesn't deserve the food he cooks. Like his pa is waiting, waiting for something or maybe it is just the memories of his past that lurk in the background.

The face of his pa is somewhere in Tennessee, near his old house, near the house he abandoned, yet Harley didn't know. His pa is near, yet so far away. His pa is planning something, something that would make Harley need to face someone head on. But even his pa doesn't know the plan, he just knows something will happen. And so the pa grins until the corners of his mouth are touching the bottoms of his eyes.

Harley shakes his head and settles down on the old, dusty couch of his new rented apartment. His eyes flutter shut but he doesn't fall asleep until a few hours pass.