Dan and Serena: one-shots

Always Have, Always Will

A little disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl nor do I intend to hate on any writers, characters, or plotlines with the product of my imagination.

"I wasn't wrong to believe in you, and I still do. I always will."
"Nobody's ever looked at me the way you just did."
"We're Dan and Serena. You can tell me anything."
"I keep thinking that if things get too hard, you'll give up on me but you never do."

As I pondered what my best course of action would be - to declare or not to declare? - the words exchanged and memories made kept haunting my mind. I couldn't help but wonder what would be worse: Dan never knowing how I felt about him, thus life passing us by, without ever have been given a shot to jump, let alone swim, or him knowing how I felt, just how willing I was to making us work this time, only to find out he doesn't feel the same way and reject me, reject us?

This last thought made my heart pound and my palms sweat. For the hundredth time that day, I wondered if it wouldn't be better to stay oblivious and question myself, over and over, does he, or does he not?

After all, ignorance is bliss, right?

"A penny for your thoughts?" Dan murmured, leaning in slightly to whisper it in my ear. His hot breath tickled my left ear, causing my breath to catch in my throat and my heart to skip a beat. What an idiot, I thought to myself, feeling the flush creep up my cheeks. "Nothing," I replied, but my voice, having betrayed me, came out in a squeak - proving to us both that it was everything but nothing.

"If you say so," Dan teased, chuckling. "You're enjoying this," I retorted, putting my hand on my chest, feigning offense.

"I kind of earned it, though, don't you think? All this time, between the two of us, I was always on the receiving end of embarrassment. The one constantly stammering and rambling at the drop of a hat... which, yes, I am well aware I'm doing now," he pointed out, playfully bumping my shoulder. "I'm just saying, now you know what that's like," he smirked.

As I was desperately trying not to let on just what that one wink did to me, he continued, oblivious. "Remember our first date? As together and collected I may have appeared," he said scoffing, "my mind was racing. Is she having fun? Is she bored? Is she interested in me at all? Oh, my God, what if this is a dare set up by her friends, just another one of their games? Has she figured out I've never been to a restaurant like this before? What if she won't trust me anymore because of this? Does my breath smell? Does she think I'm funny? Am I talking too much? Can she see me sweating from every pore of my body? Ohmygod, I'm on a date with Serena van der Woodsen!" he rattled off.

"It seems like I was completely unaware of the effect I had on you, huh?" I joked. "You still are," he whispered, almost inaudibly, so much so that I wondered if I'd imagined it. "Huh?" I breathed, almost afraid he'd correct himself as soon as he realized how he had phrased it. I still am?

Just as I opened my mouth to say something, we were given the cue to walk down the aisle. "Come on, we don't want to make fools of ourselves, now, do we?" Dan joked, offering his arm to link mine with, and so, we trekked down the aisle to where the groomsmen and bridesmaids were supposed to stand.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..." the priest started, and I couldn't help but cast glances Dan's way; on the third glance, our eyes met. His warm brown eyes, flitting back and forth - the way they always did when he had something he wanted to say but was contemplating whether or not it was a good idea. I mouthed 'you okay?' and raised my eyebrows at him. Dan just shook his head and smiled.

"So... that was... well, talk about a party crasher," Dan mumbled, rubbing the back of his head. It was painfully obvious that he was feeling jittery, enough to make him start to ramble.