to all the boys i've loved before; WHY DON'T WE ✓

𝖙𝖊𝖓

today's note from zach says,

┌─────── ───────┐

i'm taking you out for a real date after school. please accept. i can't wait to see you! have a great day at school.
zach ♡

└───────   ───────┘

i place the note in my back pocket and go about my day, excited for our date. i open my phone and send a quick text.

💌

after school ends, i meet zach at his car, and he drives us to the café where we talked about the letter. i order a basket of fries and an m&m milkshake and zach gets a burger with fries and coke.

"hey, choi. you're not regretting dating me, right?" zach questions me.

"absolutely not, herron. you're so much fun to be around. i genuinely enjoy being your fake girlfriend." i sincerely tell him.

"then why do you insist on us breaking up, so i can be with lara jean?" he pouts and plays with his food.

"because." i drink some of my milkshake.

"because..." he trails off waiting for my response.

"because i have to. look, zach. i can't really explain why." he looks at me with such hurt in my eyes and my chest hurts a bit. one of his hands goes over my hand and slowly caresses it.

"have i done something wrong?" he utters sadly.

i want nothing more than to comfort him and tell him that he could do no wrong, but i can't. i know i can't.

"it's not your fault. it's all mine. i messed up." i place my other hand on top of his. "if i hadn't gotten involved and messed up everything by sending out those letters-"

he cuts me off, "don't say that or we wouldn't be dating right now, tala."

"fake dating."

"dating. fake dating. same thing."

"no, there is fake in front of it."

i shake my head at him as we continue to hold hands until a text message pops up on au me's phone.

"hey herron, i'll be right back. i'm going to the bathroom." i told him as i let go of our entwined hands and walked towards the bathroom. at the last moment when i feel like he isn't watching me, i hide in a booth. i peek from the seat to see lara jean walk into the café and spot zach.

see walks over to him and observe them have a conversation. they have an animated conversation for 10 minutes and i can tell how happy they both seem to be. zach hasn't even noticed that i'm not back yet from the bathroom, but it's for the better.

i send a quick text to zach that something came up at home and that i have to leave. i tell him that i'll pay him back later for my food. i exit out the back and start on my walk home.

tala didn't know that both zach and lara jean were waiting for her, with an open seat in between them saved for her.