WRECKED RELIGIOUSLY

Chapter 3

Alice William's pov

He took my baby down there. The deeds he has done to me and the ones he has made me watch him do down there are drastic. What is he going to do to her. She is just my little girl. I havent been the same since he made me get rid of my three months pregnancy. No one knows what happened but himself and I. He is nolonger the man I married. Then he was sweet and caring. When I was pregnant with Lynn he treated me like the Queen in our little kingdom.

After delivering her.. he became distant. He began hitting me and it kept getting worse. He started cheating. First he didnt bring them home but then he began bringing them home and he'd force me watch them fuck. My little baby was small then so he'd manipulate her and fill her head with lies. Being the naive little girl she was she'd believe him and he'd convince her that he wasnt hurting me. That he was doing what was best for me.
They  are all bound to grow up at some point right? So when Lynn turned thirteen she began to grasp whatever was happenning.

She began questioning his actions... and he began going rough on her. So she began to rebel against him. She also began to question this religion of ours  and a lot of other things. Since he saw her zeal he chose to break her and instill fear in her so that she wouldnt end up exposing him. I wish I could protect my little baby.
But sometimes she asks for it. She really pushes his buttons hard and she knows his wrath... and when he is mad he takes it out on the two of us. I dont know why she makes him make me miserable. That little helpless brat. I rush downstairs to the basement. It really breaks me to see her beaten to a pulp. Am scared of losing her likevI lost the other one even before I got to hold him/her.

I walk towards her carefully afraid of scaring her. But what happens next startles me...I slap her so hard involuntarily that she loses consiousness. What the fuck have I done to her. My little baby... I beg for her to wake up but she doesnt respond. Am a mess as I start sobbing and my hand that slapped her is shaking. I put my fingers in my mouth and bite them hard regretting what I just did.I bite for so long that I taste blood oozing from my fingers. I take them off my mouth and go to the sink and washoff the blood. I head out straight to the servant quaters and call out for the nanny. She is Ivy.

I make up a story about how I had sent Lynn in the basement to pick something for me and she accidentally tripped and is unconsious and how I need help to get her to her room. Ivy doesnt hesitate as she leads the way as we head to the basement to bring my baby up to her room. Ivy helps me pick her up and carry her. We tuck her in bed and I dismiss her. I go wet her face towel and dab it on her forehead. I sit on the floor for a while and then an idea pops up in my head. How about I go make her some chicken soup so that when she wakes up she'll have something to drink and help regain her energy. She needs it tommorrow being sunday... we both need the energy for flashing fake smiles at everyone since we are the perfect happy pastor's family. I slightly close her bedroom door and head downstairs to the kitchen.

The nanny is only allowed in the main house only when she is cleaning,doing laundry or making meals. The rest of the time she spends in her quater. So while the soup is boiling I roll up the sleeve of my dress. I look at my wrist it has been a day since I last cut myself. I take a pocket knife from a drawer and do what I do best... self harm. It helps reduce the pain and the helplessness in my heart. I can endure the phyisical pain but not the pain in my heart. I take a deep breath and slit my wrist deep enough to match the pain in my heart. I do it over and over until am satisfied. I rinse off the blood and bandage the wounds. I roll down the sleeves of my dress and button them.I feel a little better. Everytime he hurts my baby or I do I always resolute to self harm.

I dont have friends because everyone knows am mentally unstable. I mean who wants to hang out with the crazy pastor's wife. The only person I consider a friend is Mrs. Star. Not a very close one but definitely always there whenever I need her. I really am thankful to Lynn because she ensures I take my medication as prescribed. But every time am getting better my husband does something to take me back to scratch. But I keep trying to get bettet for my baby girl despite everything. His assistant pastor is not anybetter.

Everytime my husband thinks he has been offended by me.. he brings him over to punish me. I'd rather get whipped than have them take turns raping me. I know you wonder how I claim being raped by my husband. As long as there is no my consent husband or not that is rape. Who would be normal undergoing such deeds in their day to day life? No one.You want to know what makes it worse? Its a law in our communionship holy book. But my baby girl tries so hard to keep her sanity.I wonder who will ever come to her rescue... she shouldnt suffer so much at her tender age.Hopefully a day will come when he wont have any power over us and we will get the happiness we deserve once again.