Comfort

Kiss It Better

"My chest hurts, Alan,"

"Where?"

"Right here."

"Well, that's because you're bottling up all your feelings- no wonder it hurts, you're about to burst... let me fix it."

"Hhhmmhh..."

"Lie back for me, love. Show me again?"

"Right here."

"I'll kiss it better. Help you let it out, hm? Right... here, you said?"

"Mmhm."

He lifts my shirt, his fingers and his lips tracing gently upwards until I'm exposed to him, the invisible throbbing knot of all my pained feelings clearly showing him just how badly it hurts.

"Love," he sighs,
"What did you do to yourself?"

I whimper. He caresses my side in sweet response.
He presses his warm, soft lips against my chest, and implores me...

"Just let it out, sweetheart,"

He mumbles his sweet words against my skin, and I can't help but follow his simple instructions.

I cry.
It hurts, and my whole body shakes and heaves and I just wish it was over.

Sometimes I wish I would just stop feeling anything at all...
But if that were to happen, I would lose my love for him, and that's something I just couldn't handle.

He kisses me again, in the same spot on my chest, and another wave of sobs wrack my body.

It's all so much.

I've been thinking to myself lately, that it's just so very difficult... to do anything at all!

I lift my hands to hide my face, but he takes me by the wrists and removes them, rubbing sweet, gentle, grounding circles into my pulse point.

Another kiss, and more crying, and another and another- coaxing out all of my hidden feelings- who knows how old these emotions are, they've been stuffed deep inside for so long...

He kisses me again, and dislodges a shard of despair- I gasp as it becomes unstuck, pricking me as it passes-

The pain gets worse before it gets better, dissipating to a soft throb.

He continues his kisses to make it all better, and my crying calms to sobs, sobs calm to sniffles, sniffles calm to mere hitches of breath.

"Are you feeling better, love?

"Yeah..."

I speak weakly, still tender in my heart but truly, truly feeling so much better after his careful ministrations...

"Come here, then,"

He lifts himself up to kneel before me, opening his loving arms, just for me...

I sniffle. I rise to nestle myself in his warm embrace. So, so tired. I can hear his heart trying to sing me to sleep.

"You can cry as much as you need. If you need me to, I'll kiss it better- again, and again, and again. I don't mind."

I groan softly to him. I'm so lucky he can understand the wordless sound as my profuse thanks.
I curl my fingers into his shirt, mumbling pitiful sounds... yet feeling much better.
So safe with him, always.

"You're welcome, honey."

A special, silent moment passes, and I muster up enough energy to speak...
I have to tell him...
I can't ever stop, lest he forget!

"Alan, I love you."

"I love you too. Very, very much."

♡