Envious Love[Demi Lovato]

Chapter 8

You wince and take in a sharp breath feeling the sharp scratching pain from your head spread across to the back of your skull. You had found your knees on the floor as your hands where against the sinks after the loud smash of your head had occurred from your forehead colliding with the edge of the sinks.
Holy cow
You try and focus yourself unable to.

Fuck fuck fuck

Your vision blurs as you tighten your eyes shut and then open them to try and focus. Why now?
Ahh, you feel it
You hold all the pain in as the shock suddenly makes an appearance harsh as ever. Not expecting the fall.
Your lips quiver as you let out a large cry suddenly... Danm your weak legs and anxiety.

The sound around you was muffled a little as the ringing in your ears was making a fix to itself. You felt arms around your waist from behind as soon as you had let your loud cry out being placed on a lap, demi was on her shins sat behind ignoring all the scattered contents from inside your bag across the floor.
'Y/n are you okay???' She says in a panicked voice as you put your hands in the ground either side of you both steadying your trembling body.
'My head' you manage to get out as you cry full sobs half un aware who you where even talking to. Almost forgetting you where angry at the same time as the new pain had taken all that away.
'My head' you repeat crying. 'It hurts'
Her voice was shaky and she was almost shaking herself. She was defiantly panicking.
'Breathe, breathe y/n' she says turning you around revealing the harsh mark in your head ....
Your eyes where closed as your lips quivered , body in shock only answering in cries.
Te mark on your head was a sharp line, uncut but dented deep. She had no idea how that didn't draw blood. But it was harshly inflamed. Already bruising revealing a bulge.
'Your okay' she says quickly taking this as an advantage and hugging you to her.
Your chin rested On her shoulder avoiding contact on your throbbing head.
It was heating up rapidly, you could almost feel the blood rushing.

You cried hard hesitating not knowing where to put your arms then eventually slumping them around her.
It wasn't right. But the pain took over.
You knew that the pain wasn't the whole reason for your crying. It was the shock. Of falling so suddenly infront of her. It was embarrassing and not so shockingly made your anxiety worse. Yet again, the pain was excruciating.
'Your so clumsy' demi giggles rubbing your back panicking trying to lighten the mood as you carry on crying. She was right though. And it was always at the wrong times.

'I-is it bleeding' you cry with your head now in her neck ...
'No' she says stroking your hair.
You where surprised.

'You're okay'
...

You sniffle after a while. Once your sobs had calmed down. The pain was there but you weren't so shaken up anymore to cry.
You open your wet eyes looking aroud the room behind demi as you where still sat on her.
If anyone came In right now...
You thought to yourself ... Then realising all the contents of your bag where shattered.
As well as that tin.
Where is it?
You pull your head away quickly only to see Demi's locked away on the ground ... Looking at the one thing you where looking for.
Fuck. Your heart recently quickens.
Your arms where round her neck as you didn't move ... Your eyes locked in the exact same place as hers where locked to the left of you.
You realise her grip around you had tightened slightly.
No no no
You almost black out not knowing what to do.

The tin was about the size of your palm. Silver and well used.
The contents inside consisted of the things you kept to yourself. Never letting anyone see. It was your own secret stash, it never left oyur sight.
Blades.
Sleeping pills.
Paracetamol.
Which where all in tiny see - through bags.
This tin was only a small part of the rest. Just enough to carry around. Just incase. However the blades always stayed in that tin.

Your face starred... Your body almost unable too move as you didn't know what to say do or react.
Just when you think it couldn't get any worse ... It did.

You both stare at it as you go to get up moving to the side of you with your left hand. That hand.
She stops your from picking anything up. Still looking at the bags and tin.
'Demi' you scramble wanting to pick it up.
She stopped you from picking anything up as she had her hold on your left arm.
Over than badage. With the fresh cuts.
It felt as if her fingers where digging in each cut individually. Stinging sending ringing through your ears all over again almost.
You hold in a breath and pull your hand away. So she was no longer clasping it.

Ah.

She looks at you slowly with an expression not easily worked out. She looked out of it. Like she was thinking, scenarios through her mind with a little mix of anger.

'Y/n' she was almost appalled.

you look down not wanting to make any eye contact. It was awkward enough being sat on her lap anyway.
But now she had seen everything too.

It was as if your voice box had been taken out, the ability to speak was impossible at this moment. Not that you didn't want to speak. There was just simply nothing to say to make this any better.
Not that it was her buisness anyway. Yet she was convinced it was her business.

'What the fuck y/n'
she repeats grabbing the bags as you attempt to snatch them. However learning from the phone incident 20 minutes go, she was that little bit faster.
Danm.
You still don't know what to say as you try and take them again.
'Give it'
You sit on her and snatch them again failing for the third time.

'Its not mine anyway'
You let slip from your mouth. Oh okay we'll go with that?
Where did that come from anyway...
She looks at you as you look up almost shly. Her eybrow up not impressed with a 'do you think I'm stupid, come on' look on her face. However it was slightly sympathetic.
Argh. Sympathy.
You cringe at the word and then carry on.
'Its not' you say quietly as she stares down at your left arm.
Can she not ? Does he have any idea how hard this was already. She was making it worse.
There was a silence.

'Why are you lying?' She says softly
You had your right hand in your left arm, almost defending it from her touch.

'None of this is your buisness demi!' You hold in he rest of your sobs.
No
No more crying
You hold it all in as she holds all the packets.
'This shouldn't be ignored though' she frowns looking down at your arm again as you hug it to your chest taking no notice of her.
'Why do you think I messaged you in the first place' she says softly.