Stranded from the past. Is this heaven's wish for us? - Yizhan

Will you stand with me in front again

As the night takes on and Xiao Zhan was brought down to his true feelings again - he was ripped of any defences in front of the boy who knew him so well and the one he had his heart pegged by. Yibo knew this is when he had to catch the fragile part of Xiao Zhan embracing him, cuddling the fragile soul, sheltering him of the hurt that he had been succumb to. Slowly bringing him out of the shell and wall again. Last couple of months and years had tested Xiao Zhan to the fullest and in silence they both understood the difficulties. Perhaps it was like how it is written he will carry the burden of the world for them.

"Ge..." Yibo called just looking into Xiao Zhan's eyes. "I was asked if we are keen to work together again. I wanted to run that by you first before I respond to it"

Xiao Zhan stare blankly into the ceiling as he heard that. There was a deep silence. He closes his eyes as a flash of a conversation came through.

"Zhan, there's something I need to advice you on. I'm not sure what's happening between the two of you and it does impact the way how the team and crew is handling it. Everyone is asking if you guys are on or off what's the deal. Whatever is it can you guys pretend to be in good terms even if you are not? I heard he is also taking the same steps for the sake of some people"

'Pretend....the word pretend it was never in my vocabulary when it came to us, every single moment when we chose to walk this path was as real as it gets for me.... So what are they saying about pretend? Is my love and feelings that cheap?' He asked himself. Had fame and wealth got into them that pretend is perhaps for the longevity and the business to sustain, had their promises and dreams been traded with something he could not even understood.

Perhaps it was never Xiao Zhan's nature to confront, yet he knew this relationship means a lot for Yibo.
As he replay back all the moments he had to go through listening to the differing opinions of how others thought they ought to conduct themselves, a sudden tear escaped his closed eyes as he lie silent to Yibo's questions bringing him back to the present.

The serenity and calmness from the past broke him - how the worldly view is and how human greed and perception had been so twisted. He look at it from a third lense, his situation - what could have made the world so morally unjust, how had it corrupt the culture within the entertainment industry  - has the consciousness of humankind hold no remorse?

"Hey, what's wrong?" Concerned at the change in expression and emotion, Yibo moved in closer hovering over his face looking deep into him "Did I say something wrong?...Hey.." Yibo now just stunned at the teary eyes in front of him.

"No." Zhan let out a short answer as he moved in to seek further comfort from Yibo's embrace. The silent communication continued in between - that was their advantage and gift.

"Am i pressuring you? We don't need to see the place if you don't want to." Yibo tried to guess the trigger for this "I know I've been very clear and direct on my stand even from that day at our old place, but as I have put it back then, my heart was meant only for you from the start" Yibo reiterated his confession since the memorable 520 day back then.

"What's the matter ?" He pushed Zhan lightly to look at him straight deep into the eyes that had so much stories and hurt. Seeing those eyes made him helpless as though the words pierced in as he heard it "not sure how much longer ...just want to be with you at times when it gets really hard" was the only words that came out from Zhan.

A confession that hardly came by from Zhan usually, while Yibo felt relieved to hear that, he knew it grew desperate for Zhan to say that out loud. How much more can this person continue to shoulder given all that had happen to him.

Both of them had been busy with their career, Xiao Zhan, still recovering from all the nuances and the fated meet under the winter ❄️ made him realised this walk is one he had to brace it out himself.