𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝓮𝓇 𝓸𝓃𝓮
My hands are shaking uncontrollably.
Everything I try results in failure. I can't even keep my own hands still. "I'm not hungry." I tell myself. I'll tell myself as many times as it takes. Drink water, you'll feel better.
I pop the little green and yellow tablet into my mouth, tasting the plastic casing on my tongue; I sip my water, and swallow it down. I always expect a sudden relief...when in reality it takes almost a month for it to start 'working'...and another three to see a difference; it's been four, and I'm not sure I even notice anything.
I'm still in bed...is there even any point in getting up? I pull the pink duvet up to my face and feel the soft fabric against my cheek. Things like this...they remind me I'm alive, it's when I can't feel my face, I get worried...or do I? I'm not sure I have that feeling anymore.
I sigh and reach over to my bedside table, where my phone sat idly, out of charge and lonely. I don't see the point of it being on charge when there's no one on the other end. Begrudgingly, I plug my charger into the port, and watch myself in the blackness of the screen. Puffy, red eyes...as though I've been crying all night - which wasn't true, because I can't cry anymore...maybe I had a dream? My pale skin is covered in red blotches, angry with pain and frustration - a futile attempt of getting rid of my acne last night. An attempt I'll feel for the next few days; and in a way, I'm happy, well...not happy, but content, content because the constant stinging pain on my cheeks reminds me that I'm still here.
My phone screen suddenly lit up, and I squinted absentmindedly. I lifted it above my head, the light emenating against my carmine wrist; it caught my eye...and then I felt it, the pin-pricking feeling in the back of my mind. Reach for that silver, remind yourself that you're here. A deep, struggling breath resonated through my lungs. A ping took my attention away, and one person's name repeated itself in a neat list across the screen.
Your name. Your beautiful, beautiful name.
YOU ARE READING
Skinny Love | On Hold
Romancetw; sexual assault, self-harm, suicide, eating disorders i want to warn those who read: if you are as succeptable as i to reading true life stories that reflect pain through anxiety, depression, and unfortunate incidents...i'd steer clear, for i'd n...
