First time dragging my blade against my wrist

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|Summer Vacation|
*Me and Crushes Conversation, C~Crush, M~Me*
Me~ " I really like you bc * texts him corny stupid girls say* but your 2 years older than me :( "
C~ " awwww thanks and I'll wait for you "
* He's told me he never liked me but I really really really had a crush on him *
M~ "Are you SERIOOOOUS !? Omg ! But your going to be a freshman :( there's so many pretty girls over there though"
C~ " I've gotta go to sleep goodnight "
M~ " Night <3 "
2 days pass ......
I was talking to his friends and I asked them if this was true they said " no, when did he say that? He has a crush on someone else " I replied with a " oh " and a big smile, but in all honestly I felt like a joke, I'm not sure if he didn't wanna hurt my feelings but he made me feel worser . I cried and cried and cried and cried, I was tired if people playing with my emotions I'm not just someone you can hurt . But so many people have . I got a razor and broke it apart until the 2 blades fell out, I was waking around my room crying and wondering if I should do it . My dad was at work, my mom and sister at my neighbors house . I took the blade slightly bent my hand back and dragged it exactly were my veins color appears deeply and were it ends I did 1 slit all across there then came another and another . I messaged my friend telling her what's been going on she used to harm don't really know her reason but anyways my conversation with her was like when a lot of the girls cry about boys and go talk to there friends and there friends tell them he ain't worth it and all that, you girls feel me ? We'll I got over him ... And I was happy the rest of my summer vacation .

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