It was already two in the morning, yet Ryujin was still lying on her bed wide awake. She was very much tired, feeling empty and somehow numb. Her day had been too overwhelming with everything draining her mentally and emotionally.
The feeling of exhaustion made her chest heavy as anxieties kicked in, crippling her. Everything was just too much. Tears once again welled in Ryujin's eyes, making her vision blurry. That's when she decided to get up, put on the first jacket she beholds before heading out. She was in dire need of a moment to breathe.
The cool breeze caressed the pink-haired lass' face, blowing on her hair as she found herself at their usual spot in the neighborhood. The scintillating city lights were right before her eyes. The familiar scenery has always been calming to her soul. It was like a painting, a masterpiece in a museum. Stars didn’t make themselves visible, making the bright half-covered moon lone.
“Guess that makes two of us," she sighed,
"But at least you’re up there, shining, carefree, with nothing to worry about,” she whispered to the moon.
"I thought I'd find you here." A voice was heard behind her. Looking back to see who it was, there stood a familiar petite figure.
Yeji.
The last person she wanted to see.
Seeing the older girl would only make her crumble. She'd be the weakest person when her Yeddeong was around. Tonight is one of the nights when she didn't want to be a burden to the latter. As long as she could manage her emotions, she didn't want to bother anyone.
But Yeji was everything her ponderous heart needs. She was calm. The lullaby that lulls her heavy heart to rest. The loving touch her skin yearned for.
To Ryujin, she was home she'd always return to and the warmth that her heart has always longed for. She was everything to the pink-haired lass.
“I just needed some air, I guess.” The younger one replied as Yeji broke the distance between them, sitting next to her.
“What seems to be the problem that brought you out at two in the freaking morning?”
“Nothing important, I just can’t sleep, and I stumbled myself here. But don't worry, I’m all good,” the younger one looked to her right to meet her eyes, then forcing a weak smile.
“What made you think that I'd buy that? Come on Ryu, we both know that you wouldn't just randomly go up here at two in the morning if it's just nothing. Spill.” The pink-haired lady had expected that response. Yeji knew her too well.
Well, of course. What do you expect from their ten-year-long friendship? They've been friends since forever to the point that even the creases in the back of their hands are familiar. They've been each other’s pillar, through thick and thin, highs and lows.
“Can you just pretend you bought that pathetic excuse? Just stay by me. I--I just had a really bad day, but I'll be fine.”
The older girl looked at Ryujin with squinted eyes, contemplating whether she should just let her be or not.
“Alright then, you dummy. Whatever it is, I know you know that I’m always here.” Yeji made the younger lean her head on her shoulder, softly rubbing her back. She hears the younger one sighs.
I’ll just make the most of this fleeting moment, Yeddeong, Ryujin thought to herself.
"Thank you, bub."
The pink-haired lady couldn't stress enough how thankful she was to God for giving her this human being. Her existence made everything bearable for Ryujin. Being around Yeji made the weight on her shoulders much lighter.
Life is finally worth living.
Ryujin has always felt something more than just their friendship, but for years she kept it in, afraid of taking a risk. She loved Yeji silently for years until the last few months where everything shifted. Little did she know, Yeji, too, had felt the same.
What they have been keeping to themselves, surprisingly, has been mutual all along. She felt like the universe was on her side when she found out the first time. It was all great. Euphoric as Ryujin would describe it.
Although nothing's official just yet.
She stared at the warm hand caressing hers, with the other wrapped around her waist. This has to be the most comfortable place on earth, Ryujin thought to herself. The pink-haired lady stole a glance at the serene facade of the older one which was illuminated by the bright moon above, and for once, today, she felt safe, calm, and weightless.
"Hey," Yeji hummed.
"I love you." She whispered.
"I love you too, you idiot," Yeji let out a soft giggle.
For a moment, she felt her heart skip a beat or two. A kaleidoscope of butterflies swarmed in her stomach. The heaviness she was feeling moments ago dispersed into thin air. She breathed deeply, savoring the moment.
She once again directed her gaze at the hand clutched on her arm, however quickly steering her gaze away after a few seconds.
In a blink of an eye, all the happiness she had felt was drained out. All the butterflies swarming in her stomach had gone. Her heart had now sunk to the bottom of her chest.
Tears started running down her face as realizations hit her like a truck. "You're not real," Ryujin started to sob.
"You're not here anymore," the sharp pain was piercing right through her chest as warm tears continued to flow down her face. "You're just a figment of my imagination, Yeji." She watched the lady beside her disperse into thin air, and the only thing she could do was cry in agony.
Everything then faded.
She found herself laying on her bed. Tears were streaming down her face. Ryujin, for the third time of the week, has woken up with another dream of Yeji.
It has been three weeks after her death. Ryujin still has not absorbed everything. Three weeks since she lost Yeji to a car accident where they were supposed to meet and eat out, like what lovers do. It was the same night Ryujin had planned to ask Yeji to make whatever is between them, official.
But unfortunately, destiny unfavored them.
"I miss you so much." Her sobs resonated throughout the room with the sun finally waking up.
