Creating Misery (BTS Suga fanfic)

8

I stretch my limbs out under the scorching sun. I was dying to get some fresh air, but the sticky feeling of late August left me with a pinch of disappointment in my otherwise happy mood. Yoonhee greeted me at the arrivals exit.

"Congratulations Yoona, I'm so happy for you!"

"I can't believe I actually got into Seoul National University!"

"You deserve to be there. This is going to be a huge new chapter of your life, I'm so glad I can be a part of it!"

I got my acceptance letter a little while after beginning my journey on self-love road. Coming here was one of my dreams and being accepted was the greatest confidence booster I've ever received. My parents also became more supportive of my choices. My acceptance proved to them that I can handle big decisions and that I have potential to do really well. So, despite being thrown into a completely new environment on my own, I feel relaxed.

I follow along with Yoonhee as she guided me around my new neighbourhood near the campus and as we now walk towards a coffee shop. Alumnus of SNU, it turns out she used to live here during her undergraduate studies too. We sit down.

"Wow, you received your bachelor's degree three years ago? What do you do now? For some reason it's only hitting me now that there's real life after uni. I'll need to get a job and totally support myself soon. Oh my gosh!"

"Hahaha. Don't worry. I studied general sciences and now I'm working towards a degree in education. I want to be a biology teacher but I work as a tutor for now."

"Oh my! We really should have met when I was in high school! I hated biology. So many things to memorise and so difficult to visualize!"

She chuckles. "Oh, you remind me of Youngjae! You guys are very similar actually. He abhors my textbooks and doesn't like the subject in general. He sticks to his foreign language, and poetry, and all that air-fairy stuff!"

"Oh! I didn't know he was a language guy..."

"Yes, he's actually a training professor at your school. You might be taught by him if you take linguistics. I'm sorry you didn't get to know more about him. He was quite shaken up by his brother that day."

My mind flashes back to the day of the confidentiality signing and triggers a wave of emotions. Too many feelings to label, too painful to think about, so I push them away and focus on the conversation.

"He said that they didn't get along because of an incident in the family. I'm sure he had his reasons for being troubled."

"Yes." She takes a breath before continuing. "You see, at the end of last year, Youngjae and Youngwook's younger sister committed suicide."

"Oh no..."

"Yes." Her voice begins to shake. "Lee Youngmi. She passed away right before the new year, leaving the family in a mess of emotions. Although it was totally unexpected, she apparently called Youngwook before this happened. Youngwook was of course busy with work and missed her call, so Youngjae guilts him for that. He thinks it could have been prevented if Youngwook took the call and alerted authorities once he found out what she was doing. On the other hand, Youngwook claims Youngjae would have had a better chance at preventing the incident since Youngmi and Youngjae were apartment neighbours."

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

She shrugs slightly and takes a breath. "It's really upsetting but I didn't know her too well. We only met a few times when Youngjae introduced his family to me. Such a sweet girl. It's also sad to see the brothers' relationship wrecked like this because of it."

"Sorry if I'm being too honest here but seems like they need someone to blame so they found reasons to blame each other. I don't think either of them are in the wrong. Youngjae is assuming the Youngmi's call would reveal her plans to kill herself but that isn't necessarily true. Youngwook can't expect Youngjae to constantly be at his sister's place either. I mean, what are the chances that he'd check up on her the moment she starts to..." To hang herself? Overdose? What did she do?

"Oh... I don't think you want to know. It's too much."

"Ah. Sorry if I'm prying."

We exit the coffee shop and I thought she'd leave the conversation at that. Although I now care less about what people think of what I say, it is a very sensitive and serious topic. However, she doesn't seem annoyed.

"No, it's alright." She responds. "I've been trying to get Youngjae to talk to his brother now. Youngwook is always traveling but it seems like he's come to Korea and is planning to stay for a while so I'm trying to get them to reconcile. I would be happy to have someone on board- hold on I need to go to the bathroom Yoona, I'll be right back!"

Yoonhee turns around and rushes back to the coffee shop. Meanwhile, I kick some stones as I think about the Lee family's tragedy. Youngjae is in his mid-twenties, so Youngmi must've been in her early twenties. That's almost me. That's...

"You can't go around kicking little stones in your next life Yoona, it might be me."