The Office, season 10 episode 1; Corona

The Office; S10E1, Corona

(We open with Jim in the kitchen, Andy pacing behind him, Oscar is at the table.)

Andy

Did you know that the U.S. has the most recorded Coronavirus cases out of the entire world! One in three of use have it. That means either Me, Tunes, or you Oscar.

Oscar

Actually-

Andy

No! I'm right, look it up!

(Oscar rolls his eyes, camera zooms in to see that then zooms back out.)

Jim

That's great because I've been feeling sorta sick lately.

(Jim smiles at camera)

Andy

What?

Jim

Yeah, just a cough, and a low fever.

Andy

Those are the exact symptoms. You need to go home!

Jim

Nah.

Andy

No, yeah.

(Jim shakes his head, Andy looks at him. Jim coughs towards Andy, Andy freaks out.)

Andy

Tunes!

Jim

Sorry.

(Jim pats Andy on the back and leaves. Sneak shot Andy in the bathroom with his shirt off, rubbing purell all over him.)

(Roll intro)

(Cut to Michael, walking through the door, fixing his hair. He is in normal work attire and has a briefcase. He looks around, sighs, as he thinks everyone is weird and walks into his office. At that moment, the camera turns, revealing everyone. Andy is building a tower of purell around his desk, Dwight is perfectly normal, Angela is wearing a hazmat suit. Everyone else is normal, except Creed isn't there)

(Cut to the conference room. Dwight is sitting there.)

Dwight

Schrutes have especially high immune systems. My father's great uncle Freidheim Schrute, survived both influenza, and the spanish flu. I simply go into my pig pen every morning and roll around in hay and mud. This builds up my immunity. Unfortunately, some people in this place of work think that just because one of their relatives has the virus, they need to take time off work.

(Mocking Jim) Dwight

Oh, Pam's Meemaw has it, we need to take two weeks off of work.

(No longer mocking) Dwight

The people in this office.

(Cut to Angela in the hazmat suit sitting at her desk typing, Kevin and Oscar stare at her like she's insane)

(Cut to Angela in the conference room)

Angela

I like to take precautions. And I don't care if you think I'm crazy. If I get it, then Rainbow will get it, then Angelica, then Purrington, then all of my cats. I can't risk having twelve cats get the Coronavirus.

(Cut to Andy, scrolling on his computer, the camera people come over to him. He takes a stick and pokes the people till they back up)

(Cut to Andy in the conference room, the camera farther away than usual)