Disaster train

Authors note (and Prologe )

"Some days I think it was a mistake.
Other days- I just can't think. I miss him like crazy. His face. His smile. His smell. The way he looked at me. The way he was always just--- him. And i never have to lie about that. Or hide it. I was--- me.

But I'm getting ahead of myself so here it is the awful moment that led to me wanted (and needing) to spill my guts on to how painful love truly is. Now love story's these days only show the moments where the couples fall for each other and every thing is perfect---" (blah-blah-blah-BLAH)

YUCK!!!!!!!

I am not one of those writers.
Some call me a realist.
Some call me harsh.
But it all is just the way people see love that tells how people feel about my opinion.
If they love someone they most likely will not agree with me.
For someone who knows how TRUE love really is they might agree with me.
It's all about interpretation.
And a great title.

See when someone first reads a book they already know mostly the main plot of the story before they even read a page (except minor details that differ) it's all the same stuff. Believe me I read it.
And sometimes it's fun to read it and feel like everything could be ok for once but life isn't a fairytale sweet heart. It's cold and brutal. Sooner you see it the better. TRUST ME.

Now on to this matter at hand that everyone seams to be in a fus about.

Love...

Love is the most unpredictable thing you will ever counter. And everyone faces it, it's like death. You can't escape it. we are hard wired for it.

Now don't think of me as someone that is just cold because I got my heart broken before. It doesn't matter if my heart way broken before because I still hope that love will win the big battle of life.

But the thing about love is that in real life. It is one sides. One person is always loving more then the other. You can't deny it, so don't try. Have you ever had those moments you see him/her talking with there friends and think; "I know they say they love me... But it's like there's always this huge gap between us" or how bout this "I feel like he lies to me" or "I feel like she won't care about me if I stop trying." Or "I just want them to be there for me--- to make me feel loved"

Maybe it was my parents divorce that made me a realist but whatever it was I know it all. And don't call me a know it all. But it's true I have felt it and seen it with so many different kind of types of love. But it doesn't matter because they are all tragic.
Love doesn't haft to be with him <3 or her <3 it can be in SO many different ways.
With a father daughter.. Or a mother daughter.
Maybe a granddaughter devastated by her grandmother or grandfather.
It's just- love. It's different for everyone.

* So if you don't like what I've written so far you might not want to read my book; just saying. •

But I will say:
#1 I write because it makes me feel like I can leave a piece of myself and vent about my life into my characters and nobody is gonna care or do anything about it

#2 I am a total hopeless romantic and I love being the match maker with my friends but sometimes the truth is better

#3 this book will have a lot of things me and my friends say to each other in real life {so believe me it will be funny ;) } also I might add some off my own feeling about how love went for me in real life into the book. <don't tell :| >

#4 I hope you give it a chance because I put a lot of time into this book. (It's my favorite to write)

•••••• Bella<3 ••••••

So here we go----

PROLOGUE

"NO!" She yelled ripping her arm from his grasp. "I LOVED YOU--- AND THE WORST PART WAS THAT I BELIEVED YOU REALLY LOVED ME TOO" she shoved his chest with such force he stumbled back.
But he quickly caught his balance and tried to pull her into his chest. "I believed you were different... I believed that even though you told me you were broken- I- I- I somehow could be your cure." She said in a voice lower than a whisper
" I'm not me anymore..." She said defeated.
"I can feel myself changing, i don't laugh the same- I don't talk the same- i look into the mirror and I don't see myself. Do you know how it feels to not even recognize yourself? To feel like your looking at someone else in the mirror? And I don't even know how it happened---" she said not meeting his eyes, afraid of being pulled into that spell that caused her not to know her own self.

"Well..." She said after a minute of silence "You have finally broke me--- Ian James Reilly- you broke me. you finally win..." she said "I can't do this anymore. I'm done. I don't know what I did to make you hurt me this much-
But I'm just- done" she said. She turned around with a tear running down her cheek- and she walked away.